Today is SUPPOSED to be the first day I go without a cigarette. I am trying. I really am. But I have to tell you I am staring Adversity straight in the eye and I don't know if I can do it today.
I told a "friend" that I would watch her son (whom I used to babysit from birth to 18 months) while her and her boyfriend went to Omaha to various events. I had him over night. No big deal. I knew they would be up all night and I had (and still don't have) absolutely no problem with it. It was actually fun. We played in the pool, made cookies..... it was fun.
Until this morning. He woke up at 7. I had him throw his pullup away and he ate a PopTart. So far, so good. Then I went downstairs to throw my clothes in the dryer so I had something clean to wear today. I heard Zack screaming and gagging in the bathroom. This child decided that, rather than #1 and #2 on the TOILET, he would do it ALL OVER my bathroom floor. Not just one spot. EVERYWHERE. It's bad enough when I have to wipe one of my own kids. Picking up shit that was large enough to be from an adult bowel was more than I could handle. And the mother won't answer her phone. This is the last time for THIS family.....
I still haven't had a smoke. But I can't make any promises the way this day has started.
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2 comments:
Oh - you are doing well. You didn't have a smoke after that. That is awesome! I'd say you are officially a non-smoker! You can do it.
Think of something you can do when you would usually have a smoke. Iced tea? Seeds? Gum? I know nothing is quite the same. You could still just go sit out there in your smokin' spot. Just pretend you're smoking.
I know you can do this - I am so proud of you. Be proud of yourself!
You can do it! I know you can! Do it for your own kids!
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