Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Need this doctor's number......

I hope this brightens your day like it did mine. Granted, it didn't originate in my brain, but it would be nice to live this way! LOL!! Enjoy! ~N~



HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION




Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around! !



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

2 comments:

Melanie D. said...

Hardy Har Har.

Did you take your Env. today? If not, go take it. Now.

I'll lay off the smoking bit, for now. But we bought those damn supplements, we're going to take them.

I'm taking the kids for a walk today. That will be our exercise. I got up to go to the gym today and Jay says - "I'm taking the GRE today!" Which I believe meant, please don't leave, I'm afraid I'll be late. So tomorrow it is.

Talk to you later.

Melanie D. said...

Hey ya. When you take TWO doses of Env. a day, do you ever feel a little bit like you might come out of your skin? Like a little too much energy? Me, I do. I think. I'm going to try and see if drinking more water with it helps. If not, I may cut back to a pack in the morning only. We'll see. I just wanted to know if you've ever noticed anything like that...