Pictures to go with previous post......

Addison and Jalyn opening Santa gifts


Jenna and her Santa gift


Zachary and Jason wrestling


More Zachary and Jason wrestling!!

Reply

Ok, so now that Christmas is over I have had time to ponder which I like more, to give to to receive. I have to say, I can't really decide. Here are the reasons why:


I LOVE to give. Especially annonymously. I really don't know how to spell that word, forgive me. This year, I did something I have never had the opportunity to do and it was by far the best feeling in my life thus far. A friend of mine posted a blog about people that she knows that have fallen on some very hard times. I have met these people and know that they are hard working, genuinely good people, and wanted to help. So I did. Another friend called her mom (who has a rather large sum of money in the bank) and asked her if she would donate to our cause. We went to Target and bought TONS of toys for those three little ones, clothes, dvds for the parents.... it was so wonderful. I really mean that. I only spent $30 of my own money and I can honestly say that it is the best money I spent the whole holiday season. The best part is that they don't have any clue who did it. Going back to a previous post where I talked about believing in Santa again, I know that they are now feeling the same way. That alone makes it all worth it. Giving, that is one of the many things this Season is about.

But then there is the receiving. I love the anxious waiting. I love tearing the paper. I love seeing how relieved the giver is to see that I really do like what they got me. Grab bags.....fahgit abaat it! By far my favorite!!! I LOVE to get them! Well.... I love to get them at the Shafers. Wells still haven't quite figured it all out.... but that's another post. I get the BEST stuff in the grab bags. Everything from little (ok, some not so little) decorations to comfy socks and hot cocoa and coffee.... and a MUCH NEEDED travel coffee mug.

So, this is my thing. I love everything about Christmas. I love the food. I love the chatting with loved ones. I love the gifts. I love the smiles and laughter. I love watching my cousin wrestle with my son. Family. Love. Laughter. Baby Jesus. Merry Christmas!!!!

Time for honesty!!

Ok, so it's that time of year for giving and receiving gifts. Would you rather give or receive? Explain. And please be totally honest. If you would rather receive, it doesn't make you a bad person! I will post my answer after a couple of comments are left.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Happy and Sad

I love the Holidays. I really really do. These days, the shopping doesn't even really bother me.... even though Black Friday is not something I ever hope to be a part of. I love to watch people in the malls. I am one of those people that when I am done shopping, and sometimes before I even start, I will go get a coffee and sit on a bench and just watch the people as they pass. Some hurried, some laughing, most with huge bags of goodies for their loved ones. Wrapping stations concealing the prizes to be put under the tree. The carols in church. The candlelight service at my childhood church.

And that is where the tears come. The candlelight service. So many memories. Mostly good. But now, somehow a twinge of sad.

This time of year makes me miss my Grandpa and Uncle terribly. I look at my children and the children that surround us on my favorite night of the year and I think of how they don't get to watch the wrapping paper turn the flames to various colors in the fireplace. They don't get to hear Santa and the reindeer land on the roof (as uncles almost fall off said snow covered roof.... all for the entertainment of their nieces and nephews). They DO get to see the Christmas tree being buried by gifts as people file in to congregate. They DO get Dangler caramels. But they don't get to experience the entire Shafer Christmas Eve as I did.

As we grow older, people are unable to come. The people that help me to sing the Alto line of Silent Night as an uncle's beautiful bass voice sings in a pew across the aisle and the rest of the congregation sings the melody. Something that brought my Grandpa to tears and does the same to me now, as we all pass the light to those we love next to us with our burning white wax. Remember the hair burning Christmas Eve, girls? Laughter through tears.

I also realize that there is a very strong possibility that this is my Grandma's last Christmas. I want it to be fun. I want lots of laughter. And there will be.... along with the fear that one of my children might get a sniffle and cause her to get pneumonia. It will be wonderful. And it will be sad. And there will be love. And that, dear friends is what matters the most. Love. Laughter.

Deck the Halls

WELCOME HOME WAYNE!!!!

Yesterday we went to welcome the 755+h Chemical Company home from their 16 month deployment to Iraq. Our good friend, Wayne was part of that company. It was, to say the least, awesome. I, like an idiot, forgot my camera. Can you believe that?!?! And of course we were running so late that by the time I realized we didn't have it, it was too late to come home and get it. I will try my best to find some pictures to post, but don't hold your breath. Once we got there, Amy (Wayne's wife) realized that she had her camera, but the batteries were dead. :( This might be something that just lives in our little pea sized brains.

If you ever have the chance to welcome a soldier home, I highly recommend it. It is a feeling of patriotism that you may never have a second chance to experience. It's wonderful. And, thank God, Wayne is home safe, sound, and alive. Two other soldiers from his company were not so lucky.

There were hundreds of signs saying things like "Welcome Home 755+h!", etc. But, one of the best said:

Pederson is gone
Callahan is gone
Craig is home
Life is GOOD!!!

Amen.... and God Bless America!!!!

I can't wait for the caramels

Nothing really new to post. I mean, there is always a lot going on but not usually anything of consequence. We have all been sick with a terrible cold and now we find out that my 4 month old daycare baby has RSV. My kids just got done with their antibiotics and now I have to call in and see if they need to be tested too. Before you ask.... it doesn't matter how young or old you are, you can get it, it's just that it's more detrimental to infants (then again, what isn't?). Sooooo.... hopefully I won't be spending another $60 in copays and even more on breathing treatments and steroids for my three kids. I wouldn't be overly worried except that we have all had this terrible cough that won't seem to go away. UUGGGHHHHH!!!!! The joys, right?!?

My dear Aunt Judy has been tempting me this last few days by writing in several things that she has made the caramels for Christmas. I know where you live, Aunt Judy!!! I know where you live!!! ;) There aren't many candies that I can stand to eat over the holidays anymore. It used to be as a kid I ate a bite of everything. These days a little bit lasts me a year. Among my all time favorites: Mom's buckeyes, Dangler caramels, and Grandma Wells' chocolate covered cherries and cherry mash. I am sad to report that there most likely won't be any Grandma Wells candy this year unless we get a miracle that makes her a little perkier. Poor gal, she is wiped out. Please continue praying for her. She needs all she can get.

I have about half of the shopping done. I am done with all but one daycare kid, have most of my kids' done, and then just have to do my family, grab bags, and get online to have my niece and nephew's gifts shipped.

That's about it from here. Must get kids ready for school. Have a great week!!!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME GOOD NEWS!!!!! And this isn't good news pending on stupid medical stuff. This is really, genuine WONDERFUL news.

I got a phone call yesterday from one of our very dear friends in Omaha that Wayne will be home from Iraq in less than a week!!!! He has been gone since September 5, 2006 (Zack's birthday). He called the night before last and told his wife, Amy, that he couldn't talk long because he was in the bathroom calling her so he didn't get caught and they were boarding their flight to Kuwait. The first leg of flights that will bring him home, for good, BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!! The REALLY terrific news?!?! My husband is on vacation the whole first week Wayne is home!!! FINALLY!!!!! ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!! He will be home!! Safe and sound!!! THANK YOU LORD!!!!

Also.... yesterday.... found out that my (bar far) favorite daycare family is expecting their third child. Although it is coming a couple years sooner than planned (we all know how that goes!!!), we are VERY excited to learn this news. Please pray that all is well with the little one and mommy through the next few months.

I am so glad that I can finally post something happy. See.... God is good!! Don't let the yuckies make you forget that!!!

I hope that you all get something.... anything... good today. Even if it's just a little bite of chocolate or one of your children making a silly face to make you smile. I love you all!!

Regret

I hope this late post doesn't seem cliche. But I have to get it off my chest.

She is gone. And as I read the postings about this loss, there is one image that keeps playing through my mind. It has been since it happened. I had hoped that it wouldn't be the way it all ended, but alas, that hope didn't come true.

The last time I saw Jacque was in October in Omaha in the driveway at Mel's. As we were all walking in the house and she was sitting in the car, I turned back to say "see you later" one more time. She reached out her hand. I thought it was just to wave one more time. But as I turned my back, I realized that it wasn't to wave. It was to touch one more time. Not really a shaking of hands, but more so a holding. A pat. One more human touch between friends. By the time I figured it out, they were backing down the drive and it was too late. Not really too late though. Mark would have stopped so that I could hug her. He wouldn't have thought twice. But, I didn't try. And now, I will never again see her face. I will never again get to hug her. I will never again get to pat her hand. And for that, I carry regret.

I pray that she knows how much she means to me, how much she really did change me. Change for the better. I find myself thinking "What would Jacque do to make these kids see that (enter circumstance here)?". I miss her. I hope she knows. I hope when she is looking down, she isn't disappointed.

Grief. Regret. Bummer.

Just checking in

I don't really feel like there is a lot to update anybody on at this point. The kids are all sick with a terrible cough. I am taking them in at 2:45 today, so I will try and remember to post what we find. Hopefully they get a good Rx for cough syrup. Good ole Robitussin isn't cutting it this time.

I am just so busy these days there isn't a lot of time to sit and type!! Ugh! Kinda feel like a chicken with its head cut off and all that jazz.

Hope you are all well. Will try and really catch up soon!!

I am thankful

With Thanksgiving tomorrow, I am thinking of all that I am thankful for this year. It isn't so easy with all the dark clouds looming over so many things these days. But, there are things. So, this is some of the list.

I am thankful that I have three healthy children. I know now more than ever that that fact can change at the drop of a hat. And for now, I am thanking God every day for letting them be healthy, happy children that make me smile every day, several times a day.

I am thankful that I have a husband that works so hard so that I can stay home with our children. Yes it is stressful most days and no, it doesn't allow for a glamorous life, but we wouldn't have it any other way. (Unless someone would like to hand us a million dollars!!! ;))

I am thankful that Dr. Bruno, my grandmother's oncologist, listened to God's angels whispering in her ear in October and looked over those scans again. Without her listening, my grandma wouldn't be here for Christmas this year. And she will be. Thanks be to God!!

I am thankful for my Aunt Denise. Without her emailing us to tell us what is going on with Grandma, I would have messed up most of the time I tried to relay the news to my husband after I would talk to my Dad on the phone. It's nice to have notes to go read to remember all that needs to be told.

I am thankful for Donna. She is my grandma's best friend. She has been a rock through all of this and helped more than anyone could have asked. Her husband has beginning stages of Alzheimer's and yet she is there whenever Grandma needs her, and then some, taking her meals, checking in on her, getting her medicines at the store..... the list is long. I love her more than she will EVER know. She is a gift straight from God to our family.

I am thankful for my Aunt Judy. She too has been sending oodles of emails about a sick child in our family. When I say oodles, I really mean oodles. She is so diligent in all that she has done. Thank you, Aunt Judy. The burden you have taken on keeping us all posted, even though you won't admit it, is a huge undertaking. Yet you never complain or fail to keep us up to date. And not only with this. Also with Uncle Melvin and Roberta..... you are more wonderful than you will EVER know. We ALL love and thank you!!!

I am thankful for my parents and brother. I have been blessed with one of the greatest families in the world. My brother is one of my, if not THE, best friends. He amazes me more and more every time we talk. I love him. And my parents..... it goes without saying..... I am so lucky. It's just that simple.

Last, but not least. I am thankful that I have a wonderful, working relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, nothing is possible in my life. He has taken so much burden from my shoulders and wrapped me in His love when I felt most alone. He is caring and kind. He loves me like no one ever will. He is Genuine and Pure. He is my Lord, and I love him.

God is Good!!!!




Wishing all of you a wonderful, thankful, blessed Thanksgiving holiday. Treasure every minute, for life is short and precious. We are only here for a blip in time, compared to the wonderful things ahead in the hereafter. Tell those you love that you love them and don't hesitate to hug them. You never know. You just never know.

How to cook a turkey

By Preschooler Zachary Thumann


Things you will need:

turkey
a pot
pepper
salt
butter
"onkins" (onions)

What to do:

Cook it in the oven with apples for eleven minutes. Then it's time to eat it!!

More news

Here is the latest email from my aunt about Grandma:


Hi,
I guess it's a little too early to celebrate. This is what we know so far. Yes the colonoscopy
showed no cancer. However, Mom's oncologist is still concerned. She feels there are two
conflicting diagnosis. The CT scan showed something. She is afraid something is growing
on the outer wall of the colon. (Internal the colon is clear. The pathology report came back
fine). Dr Bruno has put a call in to a gasterenterologist (sp) for his thoughts. She wants mom
to have another biopsy, of this mass on the outside of the colon. GEES! She went on with
chemo today (the full cocktail, nothing withheld). Remember the CT scan showed nothing in
the other organs, which is good. But she, (we ALL) need your prayers for strength. This is
one emotional rollarcoaster, to say the least.
I will keep you posted as we learn it.
Denise

Back to it

I have given this question to God thing a LOT of thought. I have decided that it all makes a difference on where you are in your life as to what the question would pertain. There, of course, are the obvious that have to do with events in my life right now. The ones that you ask anyway, like: Why do bad things happen to good people and Why is my family being forced to relive the past with this stuff with Grandma.

Inevitably, if one was actually able to ask God a question and receive His answer, as soon as the event was over and the answer was given, another "better" question would come to mind and bug them the rest of their life anyway. So, as of today, this is my question to God:

Am I really as bad of a mother as I think I am and pressure myself not to be?

Update on Grandma Barb

First email from Mom this morning:

Aunt Denise called Dad. Grandma is done with her colonoscopy. No tumor, no
malignancy!!!!!

My reply:

Then what in the H*** did they see on that scan?!?! Uuugghhhh!!! I am so confused!!! I know I know... .when you ask God for a miracle don't question when he gives it..... but seriously. Is there no blockage?? Nothing at all?

Her reply:

Apparently there is a blockage of some kind. Dr. Seiler thinks it is a thickening of the wall and they will need to investigate, but the news is still good.

Soooo..... another bullet dodged, for now. Once again, THANK YOU ALL for your prayers. I will keep you posted on what they decide to do about this, but please don't stop the prayers. That is the strongest medicine for her and our family. And.... as always.... keep the prayers coming for OM's family. Hopefully there will be some good news for them soon, too.

Love to you all!

Supper discussion

I asked Addison what she learned in school today and one of the things she told me was about a book that they read. Moonstruck I believe was the name of it. At any rate, the animals have a contest to see who can jump the highest and the cow wins so he gets to jump over the moon.

Zachary asks, "why didn't the cow jump over the sun?"

Addison says, "Because that's not how the story goes"

Zachary says, "But he can see better going over the sun."

Addison gets irritated.

I say, "If he tried to jump over the sun, he would get sunburned. Have you ever heard of someone getting a moonburn?"

Zachary, " Oooooh!!! Good point Mom!!"

Phew..... thinking on the fly......

Thankful

Ok, I still haven't thought about my question for God. BUT.... when I logged on this morning, I checked to see what people had posted. "Wow!," I thought. "ELEVEN posts!!!" I go to read them and nine of the 11 are from my dear Aunt Judy. You MUST go down and read them!!! I have to say, this was MUCH needed comic relief. Thank you, Aunt Judy, for once again making me smile. I love you!!!

One question

I heard something on the radio yesterday morning about a series of books. I can't remember the name of them, but the idea of the books is this: If you could ask God ONE question, what would it be? Anything. But only one. So, I am asking all of you.... If you could ask God one question, one and only one, what would you ask? I am still thinking on mine, but I will let you know when I come up with my "final answer".

MAD!!

I have gone from sad to mad. I don't mean just "Oh I'm kind of angry". No. I am PISSED. WHY is this crap happening?!?! UGH!!! I don't question God. I just want to know WHY!! All of it! Why?!?! Why is my dad's family going through the same crap only 30 years later and through longer duration? Why is a beautiful innocent child suffering through treatments like this? Why why why why WHY?!?!? I am NOT having a pity party here. This is NOT about me. It is about the cliche of bad things happening to good... no wonderful, terrific, beautiful.... people. WHY?!?!? The people that I love the most in my life are hurting so deeply right now and there is nothing any of us can do to fix it. I am a fixer. I can't stand not being able to get in there and help. Praying, yes. Obviously. But, as I said, I am impatient. I want to be able to just go in there and FIX IT.

And I can't.

Defeat

I am feeling so defeated right now. My dad just called to tell me that Grandma got some scans results and it just isn't good. The adrenal tumors are unchanged, which isn't good or bad, it just IS. However, there is a new tumor in the upper colon, which can also mean that the beast as we have been calling it is in the lymphnodes. Defeat. Battle lost. But not the war. Not yet. I just wonder. I mean I REALLY wonder... when will our family get some GOOD news?!!?

God is good. He will help us. This is in His hands. His will be done. But..... what exactly is His will? When will we know? Impatience is one of my worst traits. It's getting the best of me today. I am sorry I don't have anything good to say right now. I am just sad. So sad.

Thank you for letting me vent. And, as always, PLEASE pray for Grandma and her kids. My dad is just so down. Hearing your Daddy's voice crack isn't a fun thing.

Also, PLEASE pray for OM's family. They need them too. Please don't forget them when talking to God for miracles.

Again.... thank you.

Little learning milestones

As we were driving to preschool yesterday (without a stinkin show and tell item!), following a milk truck, Zack and I had the following conversation:

Z: Hey Mommy. How much is one of those milks?

M: Probably three dollars, closer to four.

Z: I don't think so, Mom. I think it cost nine zero seven

I look closer at the writings on the back of the truck. There is one of those "How's my driving" stickers and under the phone number, is the truck number: 907. I went on to explain to Zachary that he did say the numbers right, but that wasn't the cost of the milk, it was the number of his truck.

It's so awesome to watch little minds grow!

Uh oh

I fear that I get the "Least organized bad mommy of the year" award. I can't even tell you how hard I really do try to be organized and keep things out where I can see them and won't forget my kids' events. I even have a planner..... that hasn't been written in since March.

It started with forgetting every Wednesday that Zachary has show and tell for preschool. For some reason I couldn't get it out of my head that it isn't on Fridays like it was when Addison went. It's Wednesdays now. That's fine. It's great even. Except my brain doesn't grasp it.

Two weeks ago was the first Girl Scout meeting for Addison's troop. It was at 6. I remembered it that morning. It was written on the calendar. No problem. We would be able to go, no hassles what-so-ever. I remembered it again at 8 that night when one of her troop leaders called to make sure she was still going to be in it. Bad Mommy.

Then last week, on Wednesday night, Addison and I had this nice long talk about an awards ceremony the following day at her school for perfect attendance. A ceremony in which she was getting an award. We talked about how we would all be able to come and what time it was and everything. The paper was in my hand. I laid it on the counter by the coffee pot, just so I would see it in the morning and not forget. I saw it. We talked about it on the way to school. I told her I would see her at 11:25. At 11:27, I remembered that we were supposed to be at the school. By the time I would have gotten everyone loaded and to the school, it would have been over. Bad Mommy.

Now, this week, tonight as a matter of fact, was Addison's second GS meeting. I remembered. I really did remember to take her!!! We got there at 6:30. Right on time!!!! We walked in the door and all the girls were doing different things and when we walked in I almost felt like we had disturbed them. I came home and told Jeremy that I was amazed at how quickly they got started on their projects and how I felt like we walked in late. I looked at the calendar to make sure what time I needed to pick her up. 7:30. No problem. Wait. I thought it went from 6:30-8? Uh oooooh..... 6-7:30. WE WERE LATE!!!!! UUUGGGHHHH!!!!!! BAD MOMMY!!!!!

Will I EVER get into gear?!?! Why is it so hard for my brain to get this stuff?!?!? I'm only 30! I have the mind of a 70 year old with Alzheimers. I can't even remember to write things in my planner. And when I remember to write it on the calendar, I forget to check it every morning!!! What am I going to do when I have THREE in different things at once?

Breathe..... just breathe.......

How many....

Licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? Discuss......

Family Time

This weekend was slow, but wonderful. It is the first weekend in a month (at least) that we haven't had anything planned. So, we decided to make the most of it and just have some down time. It was wonderful.

Saturday was filled, as always this time of year, with football. Although the Huskers lost, it ended up being a good day of ball games. I should add here that, much to the chagrin of other Husker fans, I am also an OU fan and they stomped some booty thus evening out the Huskers' terrible loss. The day was also topped off with a call from my "little" brother that he was bored and was coming out. It ended up being a night of just hanging out and chatting and.... it was wonderful.

Sunday was wonderful, too. Another cousin, Cassandra, called to see if I could watch her daughter while they worked. She originally called thinking I would be in Omaha at my parents' house. When I told her I was actually home, she asked if it was ok to bring her out here. Was she kidding?!?!? ABSOLUTELY it was ok!!! DUH!!! So, she brought Mariah out and oh my gosh, it was so much fun!!! That baby never ceases making me smile. She is just so funny!!! And THEN.....

My Uncle Paul called me. I love my Uncle Paul. My Uncle Paul is one of the most awesome people I know. I really mean that. Words can't explain how much this man means to me. He always has the best stories in the world. He is just plain wonderful. Anyway.... he was on his way to fix my cousin, Tyler's, car and wanted to know if we would be around so he could stop out and say hello. After fixing Tyler's car, he stopped out for an hour and chatted with all of us (Cassandra was here to get Mariah by this time). It was just perfect. I mean perfect. Again, we say it a lot, but our family has to be one of, if not THE, best family in the world. Love doesn't even begin to describe it.

All in all, it was a low key but wonderful weekend home. I hope you have all had just as great of a weekend!!!

God only knows...

I have this cousin. Ok, I have a LOT of cousins. But today I am going to talk about one in particular that has, like many of my others, touched my family in a way that is indescribable.

She has helped me talk things out in my life when I needed it most. She has listened when I needed someone to just listen, and conversed when I needed conversation. She has shared in the value of chocolate and a cup of coffee. She is not only family, she is my friend.

Growing up, we spent a lot of time at their house. We got in to a little trouble on a three wheeler. We made mud pies. We went across the road to her Grams' house to eat strawberries and raspberries out of the garden, and also got into a little trouble when we didn't eat a whole lot of supper because we had eaten too many berries.

As adults, she has come to my house numerous times and just hung out. She was the one I called to come sit Zack and Addison when I went into labor with Jenna, and brought them to the hospital once she was (FINALLY!!!) born. (Yes, her twin helped tremendously too). Then....

She moved. I am so happy for her that she is making this great change in her life. And doing so well. Proud doesn't even scratch the surface of how I feel for her. But I miss her. A lot. And, this morning, I came to realize just how much I wasn't alone when the following conversation happened in my van when the song "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys came on:

Jenna (singing in the back seat): Mommy, I love this song!

Mommy (also singing): I love it too, Moo.

Jenna: Mommy, when is Stacey coming to see us again?

Mommy (choked up): In a few weeks, Moo.

Jenna: Mommy, will you tell her I love her?

Mommy: Yes, I will tell her when I talk to her again. Or, maybe YOU can tell her!!

Jenna: I will just hug her when she is here, ok?

Mommy: That sounds like a great plan to me, Moo.


I, too, love my Stacey. And, I thank her for being not only my cousin, but one of my very best friends.

Last night

Halloween was a lot of fun this year. For the first time since our oldest, Addison, was born, Jeremy and I both got to take the kids out Trick or Treating together. It has always been that either he wasn't home or I was home with a baby that was too little to go out. It was a lot of fun, and, of course, the mounds of candy and wrappers are everywhere!!! I hope you all had a good one too!!

Busy busy busy

Seems like there hasn't been much time to sit down and check in.

This weekend was super busy with a trip to Omaha to hang out with my parents and brother. It was a lot of fun. We got to Omaha early Saturday afternoon. I went over to my cousin's house to grab some things that I forgot on our 30th bday weekend. Although it wasn't as chipper of a visit as normal, it was nice to see everyone. Sad circumstances kinda suck. Thank God we have such a great family though. Banding together is a great feeling in a time of need.

After leaving there I went back to Mom and Dad's and just hung out for the remainder of the game. Whuddya know?!?!? The Huskers actually showed up for the game this week!!!! They didn't win, but at least they gave it a GREAT effort!!! It was nice to see that little ray of hope for our team. Hopefully they can play with the same heart the rest of the season.

Sunday, we were sitting on the porch chatting with Mom and Dad and Rob and guess who showed up out of nowhere?!?!? Another cousin Cassandra!!! It was AWESOME!!! She was headed to the mall and something told her to swing by and see if I was in town! So, we taught her daughter, Mariah, how to play in the leaves. It was SO FUN!!!! Again.... I LOVE FALL!!!

Today was just filled with the normal Monday routine of getting back to the weekly grind. Although I have to admit, the kids do a lot better with a little bit of a structure to their day and seem to be happy it's Monday, too.

I hope that you are all well. I will try and check in a little better from now on. But... no promises.

Is it just me?

Or did it all of a sudden get super cold?!?! I always think back to my childhood and think that there is definitely something odd about our weather today when compared to those times. (Like I am 80 or something! LOL!) But seriously, I think that we had more of each of the 4 seasons when I was little. Now, it seems like we only have a week each of Fall and Spring and then straight to the extreme temps of Winter and Summer. I love winter. I really do. I live in Nebr@sk@ for several reasons, one being that you get to experience all 4 seasons. There are few things better in this world than sitting under a blanket with your kids watching movies and sipping hot cocoa (hot tea for me, please!) and looking out the window to see how high the snow drifts are so far. Driving in the snow doesn't even bother me all that much. Yes, it can be scary, but overall, it isn't too tough. Part of what makes those winter days so bearable is that you know in a couple of months it will be so hot that you won't be able to breathe when you walk out your front door to go to the pool with the kids.

Fall is best though. The colors changing. The chill in the morning air. Frost on the pumpkin. Fat squirrels hoarding their foods. Thanksgiving. My favorite holiday. Tis that time of year when I feel most comfortable in my skin. I love this time of year. I am so happy.

I hope you are finding joy today, too.


P.S. Aunt J, I am thinking of you, Mom, all of your siblings, and the rest of the family as you say goodbye to Roberta today. I hope you can feel the hugs I am sending your way. Love you LOTS!!!!

Few thoughts...

Am I the only person in the world that is amazed by the fact that a mop mops up a puddle of water better when it is already wet? Think about it....

Also, remembered that I need to update y'all on my feet. Because feet are a wonderful thing to think and talk about, I guess. LOL. Anyway, I went in yesterday and since the warts are getting so thin, the acid was quite literally killing me. So we are on to what we are hoping is my last form of treatment and I should be done soon. (This is like the 10th time I have been told this. I feel like the mom in the car with the kids asking ARE WE THERE YET? And the mom replying 5 MORE MINUTES, when really the 500 mile trip is only 10 miles underway.) So, here is hoping. I have had a few meltdown about this whole affair. It's really quite taxing on the mind and soul, not being able to take a walk with your kids, etc. It will be over soon, though. Even if it's 6 more months, that's better than the rest of my life. It will be just a memory at some point. Right? I can TOTALLY do this. My kids won't even remember it when they are older. I just need to relax. Let go and let God.

Back to cleaning. I will post more later..... I hope.

P.S. Stacey..... I hope that you will get on a some point just to let us know that you have returned safely. I am thinking of you until then. Safe and happy flying!! Love you lots!!

Back

I am back. I fear, however, that I have not been having a great day and I don't see myself saying anything nice. If I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all. (Don't laugh Stacey!)

I will try my best to be in my game tomorrow. I have missed you all and enjoyed catching up!!! Hope you are all well!!! Blog more soon.

What do you say?

The other day, a girl on the playground told my daughter that she is fat. They are in 2nd grade. Now, there is a lot more to the story than just this. This girl was, the last two years, top in her class as far as scholastics go. This year, they regrouped all the classes according to their learning curves and this is the first year that the two are in the same class. Needless to say this girl feels threatened by Addison in the classroom and is looking for ways to make herself feel better about herself. I know all this. To me, an almost 30 year old, it's simple. You just walk away and know that you are the better person. But, how do I teach this to my daughter? Granted, we did talk about it and I told her that she doesn't have to be friends with this type of person and that if the girl keeps it up, she needs to walk away like she can't hear her and go tell an adult. And it seems as though she has moved on from it. I say it seems because I don't want to keep bringing up the painful subject, so I just watch her actions, etc. for any signs of stress. But.... as easy as it seems it has been for her to get over it, I can't stop thinking about it. I think about how cruel kids are and I worry that someone is saying something to her and I am not there to comfort her. She is definitely growing up, and the "real parenting" is starting. Meaning, the hard crap. And I am sure it goes without saying that I am not saying taking care of babies is easy. But the fact is that this is so hard because, well, it fricken hurts. BAD. Hurting feelings is a terrible thing. And trying to teach your child how to deal with it isn't an easy task.

Congratulations Stacey!!

God is laughing at ME this week. Enjoy your time off!! UGH!!

This weekend was rather full of cleaning chores. Things that have needed done but have been neglected for quite some time. i.e.: Carpets and my bedroom closets. When I started cleaning the carpets, as I stated in an earlier post, it was a LOT worse than I thought and had to go get cleaner (and a 6 pack of M¡ller L¡te). I used almost all of the 2nd bottle of cleaner too. I can amost guarantee that I will be redoing the carpets in another 2 weeks. I just feel so gross after all of that, I will obssess about it now until I do it at least one more time.

Then, last night, I get a call from one daycare mom telling me that she will be bringing the kids 15 minutes earlier than originally planned. No biggie. Then, my 2nd daycare mom calls to tell me that I won't have the baby in the afternoon/evening today, I will have her from 7-2. And, she adds, she thinks the baby is teething. Ok, so....

I used to make fun of people that said their 3 month old baby was teething. That is, until my first born woke up one morning at the age of 3 months with TWO TEETH. I had NO CLUE they were coming in, because being the easy baby she was, she would just sleep for a full day and wake up with a minimum of 2 new teeth the next morning. So, it isn't overly absurd that she would think her 3 month old is teething. Not in my mind anyway. Here's the deal though. If my 3 month old was running a 101.2 temp (under the arm, so don't you add another degree to that?), I would be calling to get her seen by the doc, just to make sure it wasn't an ear infection or something like it. Giving credit where credit is due, this all started over the weekend. And, the mom is in an orientation for work today (not something that should be missed). And.... she really is a great first time mommy. I mean that. She really is good. But, until I text her today (didn't want her phone ringing in the middle of a class!) and told her that I think she needs seen, she wouldn't have probably taken her in and just chalked it up to teeth (that I see absolutely no signs of whatsoever). I know I am being a hag here. And I am not, nor wil I ever, claiming to be the perfect mom. I am far from it. But sometimes I just wonder about people. I digress....

This morning was definitely a MONDAY MORNING!! :S Everything I touched turned to poo. It was just yucky. The kind where you want to go back to bed and try it all again. And, of course, it's Monday, which means preschool. No biggie. Gives us something to make the morning go a little faster. I go to unload the kids at the Y, and..... the driver's side rear tire is hissing. FLAT. GASP!!! I HAVE 5 KIDS WITH ME!!! THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING!!! Thank the Good Lord above that I know a few people in the tire business. I call and, in tears, beg Kyla to get someone out to me STAT. They were there (drove from the SW end of town to the NE end of town) and done within 1 hour of my calling. We really only sat and waited for about 30 minutes because of having to drop Zack in class. And of course once the tire guy got there, it flew by because the kids were all watching him work, etc. So, one new tire on. Need to get a matching one for the other side. And... our 30th bday bash to save for.

Yes.... I am God's punchline this week, I fear.

Songs....

Note: Mel, I responded to your ?? on last posting.


As I am (STILL!!) cleaning carpets and listening to the stereo (computer), I have found my life's song. Don't laugh. It's kind of a midlife crisis of sorts. The song is Beautiful by Christina Aguillera. It also reminds me of the posting by my dear cousin Mel. Listen to it, babe. It does wonders. I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!


And.... my carpets are getting more beautiful.... back to it....

Blog Happy again.... but not happy....

I started cleaning carpets. Seriously. SO GROSS!!!! I don't know how I let it go this long. Thank God that I don't have light colored carpet or I'd really be in trouble. I realize that I have half a million kids in here all day every day. I get that. But Holy Cow!!! I am going to run out of cleaner before they are even halfway clean!!! And.... my living room isn't that big. I should be able to do the whole room 3-4 different times before having to buy more. And it isn't like I am putting too much cleaner in the machine... it has a seperate resevoir (that isn't spelled right...) and it mixes the solution itself. Kinda high tech and cool... but.... making me ANGRY!!! This is just SICK!!! I have gone over the same spot for an hour and the water doesn't seem to be getting any clearer. UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Holy WIND, B@tm@n!!

I talked to Mom at about 2:00 this afternoon. They have a weather station thing that tells the rainfall, temps, wind, etc. Pretty cool little gadget. OM & MBG.... it's Grandpa's old weather station. Remember the one? Anyway.... she said at that point, the peak gust was 75 mph!!! I am fairly certain (her in Linc0ln anyway) that it has gone well above that. You gotta love Nebraska!!!

A loooooong story

Get comfortable.

Last night, as I was sitting in the house with a new daycare baby, my dear husband (here after: dh) was outside "watching the kids". After about an hour, he came in and there were no kids with him. When I asked where they all were, he said that they were at the neighbor's house playing and that they had the dog (Fifi) with them on her leash. They decided to take her for a walk. Whatever.

So, I get supper done and go out to hollar at the kids to come eat. They come running, dog in tow. Nothing abnormal, right?

We get done eating and the kids all run out again.... with the dog. As I am cleaning everything from supper, Addison comes in yelling that the neighbor boy's mom wants to talk to me. I don't think anything of it. She is a very nice lady. I actually figured that it was to inquire about daycare. Well, I go out and she does, in fact, ask about daycare. As we are talking, she says, matter of factly, that my dog bit her son and another kid about 5 minutes ago and does she have all of her shots? OMG!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!? You wait THAT long to tell me this?!?! And THEN you act like it's no big deal?!?!? It's a HUGE deal to me! I panicked. She assured me that it was alright and that she knew me well enough and the dog well enough to know that she isn't a danger. Well... yeah right!!! I mean I am sorry but I have daycare kids in here!! I can't have a dog that BITES!!! UGH!!

My immediate reaction is to take her to the pound. Of course DH, who can't stand the dog anyway, is anxious to take her. I start having second thoughts. Something isn't right. If it was DH she had bitten, I wouldn't think twice about her actions because for some stupid reason they just don't see eye to eye. They are like oil and water. The dog gets along with our cat better than DH. But for her to bite a kid?!?! There has to be more to the story. I asked the kids that got bit, and of course, nooooo.... they didn't do ANYTHING!!!

Well, DH wasn't taking it. He loaded her up and took her to the pound before I could ask our kids what all happened. So, this morning we get up and Addison tells me that the kids were playing basketball and that they were teasing Fifi and she got scared and bit them and they deserved it. **GASP!!** My dog is in the pound for defending herself?!?!? Ok...calm down... it will be fine.... she is making this up.

Then Zack gets out of bed and on the way to preschool, I inquire about last night's events. His story matched Addison's perfectly. He was asleep when she told me her story and she was not in the van when I asked.

At this point, I have been listening to my 3 year old cry hysterically because she can't find her dog and her "house" (the dg's crate) is missing.

I call the pound. No dog. I call animal control. No dog. SERIOUSLY?!?!? I know in my heart that he could never do such a thing but I start to wonder if DH could have done something terrible to my dog. But, it was in the back of my mind.

Went and got Zack from preschool and we drove from the NE side of town to the SW side of town to the pound and there was our dog. When I went to fill out the paperwork to bring her home, they told me that someone else identified my dog as their own. So I demanded that they bring her out and make her sit and let one of the kids call her. All of this after I had described, down to the number of rhinestones on her collar, my dog before even seeing her. So they brought her out and had Jenna call to her and sure enough she came. Luckily, that was convincing enough for them when they saw a 3 year old reunited with her dog to let her come home with us.

Needless to say, the dog is now in heat, which also slightly explains her attitude. I see a spaying in the near future. If Jenna will let her out of her sight that long, that is.

Summer

With summer officially at it's end, my dear cousin has given me some things that she wants me to blog about.... so.... here is a walk down memory lane for you!!! (Or me, rather....)

Summers for my kids kind of bum me out. I don't like that fact that we live in the "city". They have VERY STRICT areas that they are allowed to ride their bikes, walk, etc. When I was a kid, things were totally different. We rode our bikes all over town. And country, for that matter. We never got rides from Mom and Dad anywhere. We would go to the pool from open to close and Mom and Dad never worried, because on our way there, they received 15 phone calls from all the neighbors making sure that it was alright that we were going that direction. And, if we got grounded, said people received the phone calls from our parents telling them that we were NOT to be out doing ANYTHING for said amount of time. If we tried to do things anyway, there were people coming out on porches telling us that we needed to get home or they'd be calling our parents to rat us out. Mom and Dad never worried about who we were hanging out with, because everyone knew everyone and everything about them down to the roots of their family trees. I think this helped us to pick our friends ourselves, because knowing that Johnny had a sketchy home life made us think twice about hanging out with them just because we didn't want to hear about it from Mom or Dad.

We also had a GREAT "vacation" every year. Just my brother and I. We would go to Hastings and stay out on the farm with Grandma and Grandpa Shafer for at least a week every summer. We would also spend a week with Grandma Wells. We'd get to go to the Pump (Pump and Pantry in Doniphan) with our cousin Mel and get ice cream. At least one time in the week, Grandpa would say, "We "need" to go to town. Hop in the car.", and we would go in to town to get KFC. He would ask us what we wanted and, quite literally, anything we even mentioned on the menu was ours to be had.

I hope that one day my kids will have the good fortune to live out in the country or in a small town and will make the wonderful memories I have. One day..... hopefully......

Almost...

Back to "normal". I had to go to my GP today (he's so dreamy!!! sigh) because my back just didn't seem like it was getting any better. Main problem being that me laying in bed thinking about all that I should be doing just wasn't working out!! So, I called and they got me in right away. He pushed around on my back and after a loud POP, he prescribed me some hydracodone. I know I need to go to the chiropractor. I just want to get it to the point that I am not in so much pain BEFORE I go. Once I go in and get adjusted, it will be sore again for a day and I am thinking that adding that pain to this isn't going to be fun. I must admit that when that spot popped, pressure was relieved and I am able to walk a little straighter. He did tell me, too, that my feet really ARE looking better and that he thinks it will be over soon. I have ONE MONTH until my big 3-0. I HOPE it will be over by then!!! He was also very kind and understanding when I started crying about my weight going up since I can't physically do anything with my feet like this. He was so sweet, saying that I am one of the most beautiful people he has ever met and that I am just as attractive at this weight as I was when I was 50-60 pounds lighter. He also said as soon as my feet are done, he will be helping me to figure out the best way to lose the weight and he will coach me in any way possible. It's so wonderful to have someone that I know I can count on!! Finding someone like him to care for our family has been a blessing that just keeps on giving. Plus.... did I mention how good looking he is?!?! LOL!!!

Otherwise, all is going VERY well. I have a new baby in my daycare that is just so stinkin precious I can't even begin to describe her. It's wonderful having a baby around again. And the best part is that I get to send her home every day!! LOL!!!


Supper is ready. I must go eat so I can take a pill! Hope you are all well!!!! OM, Jacque, and MBG...... are we getting together for another brunch when MBG is here again?!?!?!?

Sorry

I was made aware yesterday that I am missed on my blog. Here is the thing.... I don't feel that I really have anything "perky" to type about this last week so I haven't been posting. I don't like to be a downer!!! So... here is what has been happening.

My back is seriously killing me. I think I have figured out that it's this stinkin cold because I woke up this morning feeling great but then after about 2 hours of being up and coughing, it's starting to hurt again. Of course it doesn't help that I just had my feet done again yesterday and I can't walk like a normal human!! UGHH!!!

On Saturday, went to the baby's funeral. All I can say is that it was just plain awful and I hope I don't ever cry like that again as long as I live. Nuff said.

My son has started preschool. I was really worried that he would be the kid that got into trouble every day. He tends to be a little "ADHD" when it comes to learning around here. He has surprised us and been quite the opposite. He is learning so much that it is honestly amazing me!! I am a little sad that he is growing up so fast, but at the same time I am thrilled that he is having so much fun. And he is SO SMART!!! Love it!! Today is their first day of swimming lessons (he goes to the YMCA), so I am hoping he will have something good to tell me.... I'll let you all know!

Grandma is still doing great! Her cousin from California is here for a couple of days, so I am sure they are living it up. They are like two little kids when they get together. I only wish I wasn't so sick so I could go say hi too. Oh well. C'est la vie!!

BLECK!!!!

I am so sick. I mean really really sick. As in, I should pry go to the doctor as I am sure I have at the very least a sinus infection, but the thought of taking all these kids in with me makes me even sicker!! Wanted to take a nap today. Thought since the husband was home that wouldn't be a problem. Hmm... yeah.... better just leave at the fact that I am sitting here typing and whining to the blogosphere and not sleeping.

Forgot to mention...

My dad and his two sisters and all of their spouses wrote a "strongly worded letter" to the hospital about the radiologist that screwed up Grandma's scans. They were NOT looking for monetary apologies, just a simple look into what had actually happened. Turns out that this is not the first time this person has done this, it is actually one of several times. My family was just the first one to actually say something so that they investigated it (imagine that... my family not being quiet!!). They got a response saying that not only is the radiologist in a rather large malpractice suit now, the rest of the staff is being looked into to make sure that they all did their parts correctly. It is unlikely that the supporting staff willl lose jobs, as it is the responsibility of the radiologist to make sure everything is in order before even attempting to read such scans, but they will be tested on their jobs at the very least.

So, thank Goodness that my family stepped up and said something. As they said in the letter, they weren't looking for any sort of money, they just don't want another life hurt like my Grandma's was. Or worse.


We will now ALL be writing a letter of gratitude to Grandma's Oncologist for listening to those little angels on her shoulder telling her not to let it go. Those little voices and her response saved my Grandma's life!!!

My new favorite word

is..........






REMISSION!!!!!




On Thursday (I am so sorry.... I will explain my delays in a minute....), we got Grandma's MRI results. Her tumor that was last measured at 4.5cm is now only 1.5!!!! The other tumor is now being called a "nodule", whatever that means. I can't even begin to explain the feelings of joy in my family right now. It's amazing. She has been given another chance (after a month ago being ready to die) and this is the answer to our prayers!! Thank you, again, for all of your prayers and support!!! Jacque.... you are next for the good news. God is taking care of you too, babe!! :D


Now.... for the rest of my story.....


Last week was so full and busy I can't even think where I need to begin! On Monday, I had no daycare kids so I thought for sure I would get everything done and caught up for the upcoming weekend where the hubby and I were to be gone and my momma was coming to stay with the kiddos. No such luck. I did NOTHING. I sat on my behind. Well... that's a lie. I did sit on my behind, but it was while I was trying my best to console my dear friend through the upcoming day.

Tuesday, said friend had to give birth to a child she had just found, four days prior, was deceased. I hope that no one I know will ever have to endure that again. Either side of it, listening to a friend go through it OR having it happen to them personally. It was, in every sense of the word, AWFUL. I also started a new 8 week old daycare baby that day.... catch 22.

Wednesday, when she got home from the hospital, without a baby in tow, I drove up to Norfolk and spent the night with her. I actually just came home when she went to bed. It was so exhausting. It's amazing to me how tiring crying is.

Thursday, MAD DASH to try and get things that I was SUPPOSED to be doing all week long done. I, much like my cousins, am the perfect procrastinator!! I can't think of anything else that was accomplished on this day other than watching kids and getting the house picked up and laundry done.

Friday, Zachary started preschool (yet another catch 22), we scrambled to get last minute things done, and then at 2 headed off to marry off one of our good friends.

We finally got home yesterday and oy..... I am STILL beat. I will try and post more about the wedding and weekend tomorrow. I really am just plain tired and I need to call Kathy and see what the funeral arrangements are. Please keep praying for the poor girl. I can't even imagine.

Have a wonderful night!! Hope to have more for you tomorrow!!

Sad

I just don't understand why bad things happen to good people. I know that it is cliche. Doesn't mean it isn't true.

One of my very close friends of 15+ years just lost her baby 7 weeks to her due date. Granted, this is her 4th child, but it is so devestating. It's just awful. They found out last Friday at a routine check that there was no longer a heartbeat and ultrasound confirmed the loss only a few minutes later. One of the saddest things is that she had to go through labor and delivery just as if she was going to have a healthy baby, only knowing that it wasn't so.

Dawson was born at 3:44 pm Tuesday, September 4, 2007. He weighed 1 pound 14 ounces and was 16 inches long. He was pronounced dead one minute later. Funeral services are pending.

I went to Norfolk to see Kathy tonight. It was by far one of the hardest things I have ever witnessed in my life. I can honestly say that there are few times I have ever cried like that in my life. I don't know how she can live through this. She will, I know that..... but HOW is another story completely.

I must try and get some sleep. Just needed to vent.

Cleaning.....

AND HUSKER FOOTBALL!!!!! This, my friends, is what I LOVE about Fall and Nebraska!!! I am not the type of Husker fan that can rattle off their stats since the beginning of time, but I LOVE the Huskers. I don't care if they win or lose, I just love to watch and cheer them on. High school and collegiate football have always been my favorite sports, especially when my "little" brother played. There is nothing like the crunch of helmets!!! Ohhhhh, I can't wait for 2:30!!!

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE NEBRASKA!!!!

UUGGHHHHH!!!

I went shopping last night for an outfit for my friend's wedding in which I am the personal attendant. I HATE the outfit she picked out. It's just that simple. I look like a friggen oompa loompa. Whatever. It's her wedding. And after 2 or 3 flipping hours of trying on clothes that didn't fit or made me look pregnant, I just didn't care anymore.

As I have told the world over and over again, I am still getting my feet worked on. I can't do anything physically because even walking is a major challenge. It sucks so bad. So bad that my weight is showing it immensely and I am going to yet again have to buy a whole new wardrobe. I would like to say that I am ok with this, because it too shall pass..... but I'm just not. I am not saying I want to be a size 12 again. I don't care about being skinny. I just don't want to be THIS BIG. It won't be long and I will look like the chubby Star Jones..... actually.... more like Rosie O'Donnel. I am so depressed right now. I know that I shouldn't let things like this get me down. I have NEVER been a vain person. I have never dressed to impress. I am just me and that is one of the best things about me (in my opinion). I live my life to make ME happy, not to make the rest of the world happy. But this is just insane and I am NOT happy.

And I won't be able to do anything about it for at least a month. I could just cry. Again.

A Rock....

And a hard place. That's where I am. I feel that no matter what I do in this situation, I am screwed.

At brunch the other day, I told you all of the situation with that daycare mom and drugs. I am, as a caregiver, legally obligated to inform the authorities. As a citizen, I am morally obligated. If (when) I do call in, no matter how hard I try, it won't be anonymous (sp). I have done this before. And no matter what they tell me when I call it in, when said people go to court, it always comes out at that time how the courts were informed. I am thinking that I will (along with a whole jar of Lysol wipes) go to the neighborhood drive-up pay phone and call it in, so that they can't trace the call to my house. But.....

My heart is breaking. Although this child in my care makes me crazy, I know that the main reason I can't hardly stand him is because of his mother and the things that she says and does to me. I can't just kick them out, because she works at my daughter's school and she would treat my daughter and one of my other daycare girls terribly. And this gal is so good at being mean and evil that she would do it where no one would see or hear it, so it would be the kids' word against hers. Not to mention that the girls are already so scared of her that they pry wouldn't say anything for fear that she would be even worse to them.

I know what I have to do. But it isn't easy. And I have honestly lost a LOT of sleep over this. I feel like I am going out of my mind and this is only the beginning, because no matter if I do or don't call, things will either way get a LOT harder and a LOT uglier. UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Hugs

Have you ever noticed how a hug can just make a day perfect? I love hugs.

All of my blog buddies (two of which are cousins) met up in person today for brunch. It was wonderful. The instant I sat down, I was greeted with a hug from Jacque. It was like we were old friends. I love that kind of welcome.

After a wonderful meal and even better conversation, us cousins went to Omaha Mama's house so that I could get a couple of things and Midwest Beach Girl could see OM's house. When we got there, I was a little sad that the kids were napping. OM's children are, by far, two of my favorite children in the world. (And I have a LOT of little ones in my world these days!!) They just make me smile and, more than anything, they make me LAUGH. First to wake was Mason. He tried to play shy for about 5 minutes and then..... laughter. That's all I can say.... laughter. EVERYTHING that baby does makes me laugh. I think a lot of it is because he is exactly like my little man was at that age..... Thank Heaven for little boys!! About 20 minutes later, I see my "B" coming down the stairs. As soon as she saw me, her eyes lit up and she came running for some lovin!! Ooooohhhh, how I just LOVE her. She has the cutest little voice and is such a happy girl. And her hugs just mean everything to me. I never tire of her loves!! Thank Heaven for little Brenna!!

Now, it's back to reality. I must start some laundry and get this pit of dispair cleaned up so that I can start my week. Here's hoping this one is better than the last!!! Have a great week everyone!!!

PLEASE HELP!!!

Conditions with my husband's job of over 8 years have become unbearable. He is currently seeking other work as a truck driver. He is NOT an owner operator, and would rather not be an over the road driver as in out for two weeks and home two days like Werner offers. Do any of you know of good places to apply in the Omaha area??

THANK YOU for your replies!!!

Blog happy....

I just had a thought.....

I need to go buy chocolate. LOTS of chocolate. I have much to celebrate. My cousin and I use chocolate for EVERYTHING; sad things, happy things, watching movies, talking (which we do a LOT of). And it doesn't matter the chocolate. We will try anything, as long as it includes the cocoa bean. She will be home THIS WEEK!!!! We MUST have chocolate to celebrate!!

Grandma's chemo is going "well". She hasn't been AS tired, but that is mainly in part to her now being in tune with her body and knowing when she needs to get in for fluids before it gets too bad. PLEASE remember to add her to your prayers every night. We need to abuse this miracle to its fullest.

I am a TERRIBLE Christian. I ask for prayers, and I really believe in the power of prayer. The thing is, I don't have enough "knee time". Rephrase: I don't MAKE enough "Knee time". My prayers come at random intervals when I am washing dishes or reading a book and think of someone and remember that they need my prayers. And most times, when I go to pray, I can't remember who all I needed to pray for, so I ask God to look back in my memory for me. Is that good enough? I don't feel in my heart that it is, but I think God is still on my side and the side of those I care about.

I have become an aunt to a little niece! I now have one nephew that lives in Wichita Kansas and a niece who is in Huntsville Alabama. They are both too far away for my liking, but oh well..... they WILL know who their "Cool Aunt Nikki" is when they are older and mine will be the house they want to visit every summer for a few weeks and on their Christmas breaks. And if I have to pay to get them here, so be it. They are my babies!!!

This is all for now.... back to those frelling dishes.......

I love my husband.....

But he cannot wash dishes to save his life!!!


Must get back to "rewashing"....... :'(

Uh oh

So I was sitting here on what looks to be one of my last lazy mornings for a while. (School starts Monday) I decided to catch up with all of you on here. Here is what happened.....

I made it through all of OM's blogs without feeling that pang of guilt that I normally do when I don't get on for a while. Then I got in to MBG's. I got to the PROPS blog and cried. It's funny how her calls mean as much to me as they do to her. I love and miss her so terribly. Only 4 years, 11 months to go till she is home again. RIGHT?!?!? ;)

Now, just to cover me arse...... OM...... you, too mean more to me than you will ever know. You have been a rock in my life as long as I can remember. Most of my childhood memories include you and even my Dad marvels at our relationship. He has said more than once that it doesn't matter how long you and I go without seeing or talking to each other, when we are reunited, it's like we never missed a beat. You are one of the people that I don't consider just family, but a true friend.

Back to catching up on the blogs.....

My girls

I have two daughters. At this point, Addison is 7 and about to start second grade. Jenna is 3 1/2 and won't flippin poop in the toilet. GGRRRRR!!!!

Addison just bought her first what I call "real" cd. Up to this point in life she has listened to "my" music on her headset. Yesterday, she got the Hannah Montana 2 disc set. I have to admit, of all the music she could have chosen to buy, this was a GREAT choice. We listened to it as we ran errands this morning and the messages in these songs is PERFECT for girls. It's all about doing your best and trying your hardest and just being you. I LOVE IT. I am a little sad that my first born is getting so independant, but yet when she makes choices like this, I feel as though I am doing SOMETHING right!!

Then there is Jenna. As she sits in the bathroom screaming because her tummy and butt hurt because she needs to poop and refuses to go in the toilet, I am sitting her venting to you all. She has been potty trained over a year. But she refuses to go #2 in the stool!!! I don't get it! We have tried bribery, books, everything. I don't know what else to do, but I swear if I have to change one more of her poopy pull-ups, I will lose it!!!

I better get in there. We'll see what happens.

Nothing new

There really isn't anything new to report lately. We are all still elated on the news with Grandma and just revelling in the joys.

I have been dealing with plantar warts on both feet, as I think I have posted before. It's really getting old. It just sucks. I know that there are a lot worse problems out there, for instance Jacque and Grandma, and I feel awful for complaining. But I just have to vent. I have been so strong and quiet about it. I don't want to sound like a whiny child. But I have to tell you it hurts so bad that I can't hardly bear it any more. I have one on the ball of my right foot and one on the outter side by my heal on my left. My General Practitioner tried everything he could for a year to get rid of them and finally sent me to a dermatologist. The dermatologist started out with this acid that is just plain awful and then every night after that I had to use a 50% acid on them after using a... well... I call it a foot razor. It's one of those things that they use to scrape your feet when you get a pedicure. Which is why I will never EVER get a pedicure, but I digress....

So after about three months of doing the 50% acid at home and going in once a month to have the REALLY scraped and checked, I told the lady that this was getting old. So now she is using what she calls a slurry (sp?) and oh my GOD. I have to go in once a week now while we are doing this and it is just plain BAD. It is so flipping painful. I can honestly say, after having three babies with no drugs, that I would rather go through childbirth again. For one, I can't walk straight on either foot. I have had back problems (again, nowhere near as bad as Mel's.... I am being whiny) since high school. This crap of not being able to walk right has thrown my back, ankles, and knees off so bad that toward the end of the week when I CAN walk, it isn't straight because I hurt so bad everywhere else.

The good news is that this last Tuesday, she thought that this MIGHT be the last treatment I will need on the right foot, which is hardest to walk on. So, here is hoping. I guess I will let you all know what happens this Tuesday. UGH.

Other than all that there is nothing new. Just sitting and waiting to see if we are new aunt and uncle via Jeremy's brother, Josh. I can't wait. The sex is still unknown. I love not knowing! It is one of the true, genuine surprises in life!

I hope you are all having a great week and ready for the weekend! We have nothing planned for the weekend. It should be nice to actually have some family time, since Jeremy has been gone so much this week. OH!!! There are some major changes on the horizon with his job!! However, since this posting has gotten so long, I will save it for tomorrow!

Good night and sweet dreams to all!

Answered Prayers!!

Grandma went in to talk to her oncologist today. They talked about how Grandma is done with treatments and she didn't want to take this pill that would hopefully retard the growth of the tumors. It wouldn't have shrunk them, but it would hopefully slow the growth. Well Grandma has a friend who is on said pill and the side effects are not worth it. As I have said before, it's the quality, not quantity, at this point. She was, however, open to any experimental drugs that might be out there. As she said, if it will help someone down the road survive to spend more time with their families, she is willing to try it.

Grandma and the oncologist talked about what to expect. I won't go into detail, but she knew what was ahead of her as she left the doctor's office.

When Grandma got home, there was a message on her answering machine from the receptionist, Donna, at the oncologist's office, asking her to please call Dr Bruno as soon as she got home. So Grandma called and they put her straight through to the doctor. Dr. Bruno answered the phone with the question, "Barb, do you believe in angels?". "Yes", Grandma replied. "When you left this afternoon, "something" kept telling me that I needed to look into this more, that this couldn't be the end for you. So, I went and got all of the scans and looked them all over again. The radiologist was wrong, Barb. They were reading the original scan, not the recent one. Your tumors have, in fact, shrunk by 25-50%. Would you be willing to start chemo again on Wednesday so we can beat this thing?" Did she really have to ask that?!?!? OF COURSE SHE WOULD DO IT!!!

My grandmother, with a new sense of hope, will be restarting her chemo on Wednesday. One of my wise aunts once told me, "When God answers prayers and gives you a miracle, you never ask why, you just simply say THANK YOU." THANK YOU, GOD. THANK YOU to EVERYONE who has said even just one prayer for my grandma Barb. THANK YOU for just this little ray of hope. THANK YOU for more time, even if it is only a couple of months.

THANK YOU!!!!!

Hi

I really don't have a whole lot to talk about. I just realized I haven't posted in a few days and thought it was due time.

This weekend isn't full of things to do at all. My husband is in Osh Kosh, Wisconsin, with his older brother at an air show. I guess it's quite the show, and Greg has been wanting Jeremy to go as long as I can remember, so they are headed. I hope they have fun. I won't try and hide the fact that I am VERY jealous, as I sit here yet again alone with the kids. No money to do anything because he is, I am sure, going to find something to spend every last penny we have on. Oh well.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! Can't wait to read the posts about it all in the end! Hugs to all!

Hand,

Foot, and Mouth Disease. Look it up. It sucks. Especially when you have three children that come down with it all at once. UGH

Rewind back to last week. Monday night Jenna is eating her supper and starts bawling like a scalded cat. (Mind you I have never seen or heard a scalded cat, but you get the point) She came running saying she had an owie. So I had her show me. She pulled out her lower lip and there was what I thought was a canker sore. No big deal, I thought, it will go away in a couple of days, and until then, just bland foods for Jenna. Then came Tuesday night when Zack started whining that his throat hurt. We had just spent the afternoon at the lake so I figured he was just overly tired and would see what happened the following day. Wednesday he was pretty lethargic and by Wednesday night he was shivering and shaking so bad (but not running a fever) that it took me over three hours to get him to stop. It was really sad. Thursday morning, Addison woke up saying her throat hurt now. THAT'S IT!! WE ARE GOING TO THE DOCTOR!!! Went in and had throat cultures run (via the suggestion of an intern), and when the doctor came in, she took one look and said no, it was HFMD. What's that?!?! Well, it's these awful ulcerations (that look a lot like puss pockets associated with strep) all over the mouth and throat. It CAN spread to the hands and feet. THANK GOD that it never went past the mouth and throat with my three. It has been a long week, but all is now well and luckily none of my daycare kids got it! The best part about this sickness is that, much like chicken pox, once you get it you won't get it again. So, I won't ever have to do this again! THANK GOODNESS!!!

Also, I talked to Grandma today. It's just odd. She is really at peace. I can't even explain it. She is past all the meds and doctors and just enjoying life. And I mean REALLY enjoying life. The way we all should. She is noticing things like birds singing in the morning and breezes touching her face. She does have to go to a neurologist tomorrow because she fell a couple of days ago and they can't quite figure out what happened. Her right leg just basically stopped working for a few minutes. It's kinda weird. She and I had a really great talk though. She just flat out said she is done. So, I said.... OK, Grandma, then let's get to living. To which she replied... Yes, let's. So there we have it. I asked her a lot of things that, this is going to sound morbid, I have always wondered when one is faced with Death. Questions like: Are you afraid of dying? What is the worst part of all of this for you? Are you in pain? She is so wonderful. She answered everything. She is not afraid of dying, she just doesn't want to say goodbye. She isn't in pain, she is just tired (which we decided has to be because the chemo is not all out of her system yet). Yet another wonderful conversation and memory to add to the collection of my Grandma Wells. Although one day I will miss her terribly, I am looking forward to helping make more memories while we have her here.

But Mommy....

It's not dark outside!!! UUGGGHHH!!!! Need I say more??

(They are in bed and almost asleep and it's only 8:45, but still.... I KNEW it would be said by at least one of them!!)

Iced tea and a good book

Is how I am hoping to spend the remainder of my evening. We had such a busy weekend. I love having people here. I am kind of like Monica (Friends) in that aspect of my life. I love to entertain. Laugh love and live. That's the key to life. And we did a lot of all of the above this weekend. I can't even really tell any great stories, because it was just an all out fun and tiring weekend spent at home with friends. The kids are in the tub and I am getting their jammies ready so that they are all in bed and out by 8:30, hopefully. And it seems as though maybe the sun will be asleep by then too, so there shouldn't be any fights about it. (My kids always say. " But the sun is still out!!" when I try to get them to bed early after a long day/ weekend.)

Haven't heard anything on Grandma. I will most likely call her tomorrow and see what she is up to. I am sure her phone has been ringing off the hook since Thursday so I thought I would let her breathe a little before she gets another call. I will let you all know what she has to say.

Well I am off. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and can't wait to read all about them!!! Good night.

The dreaded post

Well.... the time has come. The time when my dad and his family need different prayers. No more prayers of recovery and well being, they (why am I saying "they"?.....WE!!) all need prayers of strength and understanding and comfort for Grandma Barb. Her tests were not good in any sense of the word and the fight is now going to be on the downhill slide. Of the two tumors on her adrenal glands, one hasn't done anything, and the other grew. The chemo is doing nothing other than making her very ill. Now we are down to quality, not quantity, of time with her. There will be no more chemo. It honestly won't be too long now. Maybe a few months, which, to some may seem like a lot, but when you are talking about a loved one, it's too little.

Thank you ALL for letting me vent, not only on here, but also into your ears over the phone, in person, etc. Blogging HAS made this just a little easier. I thought I was ready for this news. I knew it was coming. I knew it in my gut and soul, I just wouldn't admit it (Sorry Mel). No more lying until the truth comes out. It IS as bad as I had felt it would be. I can do this. I know I can..... Until I remember what my Daddy looks like when he cries.....

LOOK!!!---->

Over there!!! To the right!!! There is a little thing that says "My other blog". See it?!?!? READ IT!!! LOL!!

I want

I want I want I want I want

Cry scream fight cry scream fight cry scream fight

This is the story of my life these days with my wonderful children. I love them, that was never in question. But I have to say that I don't know how much more of this I can take. I really mean that. This isn't just a minor meltdown, this is a full fledged problem. I read books. I ask for advice. I try everything. That makes me sound inconsistant. I am very consistant. When I try something new I will try it for a few months before giving up on it. I have tried everything from ignoring to calmly talking to spanking..... nothing is getting through. Had I EVER acted this way or treated my parents like this, I wouldn't be alive to tell you about my problems. I would honestly be 6 feet under via the hand of my father. How is it that spanking is so wrong now? I am not talking about an all out beating, I am talking about a swat on the a$$ that I think most of us received from our parents. How is it that if I swat my child I will go to flipping jail?!?!?

Anyway... my question is this: How did my parents and my aunts and uncles all get us kids to respect our elders? How did they instill that fear of "the look"? I did get spanked as a child, this I have already admitted. But it wasn't like I got it all the time. Quite the opposite. I think I can maybe remember getting it two or three times in my life. But all it took was that look from my mother or the "HEY!" from my father and we snapped to a tension in a split second.

One thing that is different in my children's lives is that their dad's presence is inconsistant. By that I don't mean he isn't a part of their lives or mine, I mean that he is a truck driver and his schedule is awful and never, ever, ever the same. Is that part of the problem? I don't see how, because when I look back at my childhood, most of my family were farmers or in said industry, thus taking them out of the home for a month at a time. (Not that they were never home, they were just home after us kids went to bed and back to work in the fields (or Grandpa's shop) again when we awoke.) I just don't get it. I want my kids to be happy. I want to be happy. This is one of the things that I posted about with my 30 things. I am losing. I am losing rapidly. My children's childhoods are at stake here. It isn't looking good. I am a bad mom. Don't say I'm not. I know I am. I am short tempered. I am short fused. I am lazy. I am boring. I just freakin suck.

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?

first few

I have been meaning to post my 30 things I would like to accomplish or change by my 30th birthday in October. I keep forgetting. I think I have the beginning stages of Alzheimers.....


1. Begin learning how to play the piano. We got my Grandma's piano and the kids will start lessons as soon as I can afford to get it tuned. I have always wanted to learn how, so why not with the kids?

2. Be more patient. Not just with kids. With everything in my life. I am one of the most impatient people in the world.

3. Stop taking things so personally.

4. Be HAPPY. I mean really happy, not fake for the sake of those around me.

5. Learn to be satisfied. Life isn't as bad as I tend to think it is. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and clothes on our backs. Just because we don't OWN said roof or eat steak for every meal or wear designer clothes doesn't mean we don't have enough.

6. Stop obsessing (sp?) about the cleanliness of the house. Toys aren't dirt.

7. Learn from my Grandmother and stop freakin smoking.

8. Look at the life of a friend who just lost a baby that was a week old and realize that even though my kids can be a pain in the a$$, at least there are HERE with me and I WILL enjoy the short time they are little.

9. Be more active. I hate the heat, so this will be a real chore.

10. Manage money better. We make budgets and never follow them. It's time to stop spending and start saving.

11. Talk more to those I have been neglecting. I need to pick up the phone more.

12. Accept help when it is offered and when it isn't offered, ASK FOR IT!

13. Spend more time with the husband. We are so busy with our jobs and kids that we never take US time.

14. Minimize. There is too much "stuff" in my house. For example, my "skinny" clothes. Goodwill has more room than I do.

15. Cook more. I cook in the sense of taking things from the freezer and warming them. I need to start making casseroles, etc., and freezing and warming those rather than Stouffer's.

WOW..... 30 is a LOT!!!

16. Stop yelling and start talking.

17. Spend less time on the internet/computer.

18. Go to bed earlier. I am a night owl. I hate mornings. When the kids go to bed at night I do my list of things. I need to start doing them during waking hours.

19. Try to be healthier all around. Healthy = happy. Right?

20. Go to the dentist yearly. I hate the dentist. And I take the kids every year, but not myself.

21. Be more accepting of things and people I can't change.

22. Realize that not everyone in the world is a true friend.

23. Not worry so much. I worry ALL THE TIME. About everything, family, friends, money.... everything.

24. Stop letting people abuse my kindness. I.e.: get paid when I am supposed to get paid rather than letting people wait a week which turns into a month and ends with my pissiness.

25. Get receipts for taxes entered in to the computer when we get home from the store rather than all at once at tax time.

26. Go easier on myself. I am way to mean to myself.

27. Smile more

28. laugh more

29. Observe more

30. Act, not react.



There it is, for what it's worth. I think it's pretty good. I think.

poem

This is the poem that I keep referring to when OM and I are having little "Mommy Meltdowns" about the state of disarray in our homes.



Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs
Dust, go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep!!




I would like to add that I got my Grandma's picture that she made of this. It's ugly. Ugly as sin. But it WILL be hung on my wall until the day they put me in the ground.

OOOHHHHH....

HOW I WISH WINTER WAS HERE!!!! At the very least, Fall. Now that the extreme heat and humidity of wonderful Nebraska Summer is here, I don't want it. I sit and listen to the AC running and my continuing thought throughout the day is, "The electric bill is going to kill us." We are pretty much stuck inside until almost sundown everyday because my kids overheat so quickly, which brings on the cabin fever and fighting. I have a great deal of things to get done, but breaking up fights and keeping kids out of trouble is what I find taking up all of my time and I still get nothing done, even though we are in the house and I should be getting lots done.

Oh well..... Fall is just around the corner. I can do this. I WILL make it out alive. And then, I will be sad that my baby is heading off to the 2nd grade.

Catch 22. Everywhere I look. Catch 22.

Hello, hello, hello....

Is there anybody out there??

I feel as though maybe my postings here aren't being seen by anyone but myself. Oh well....

Nothing new to report here, other than I remembered after my last posting that I haven't said much about Grandma lately. She got sick again with this round of chemo, but not as bad as last time, because she knew what she was looking for and went in right away for fluids. Last I heard, she is still drained, but doing ok. Please keep praying. I am getting a feeling in my gut that what we hear on the 18th won't be what we are hoping for. Not trying to be pessimistic, but realistic. And if it's not doing any good, I know my Grandmother.... she won't continue with the treatments. Pray hard!!

I also have something (relating to Grandma) that I would like to vent about. I have this cousin that posts on another site. It's MySpace. EVERY TIME that she posts something, it has something to do with our Grandmother and how she is "close to Death" or how we are "about to lose her". I can't STAND it. Granted, I post on here to update everyone, because there are people that read this that want to know how she is doing, but just in case it isn't good, don't want to call because they know that it will upset me. (Upset in the sense of make me cry when I may have just gotten myself to calm down) That and let's face it, sometimes it's just nice to send a fear out into the great unknown. But to say on a stupid survey question (several survey questions) things about about to lose or being close to losing or a dying Grandmother??? GET REAL. She isn't THAT bad. DRAMA!!! UGH!!! But then.... I must admit..... part of me starts to wonder what people may not be telling me. I know it's sick. I know it's wrong.

How do I convince myself that there isn't anything I am not being told?


Because my Grandma and I are CLOSE. Closer than a LOT of Grandmothers and Granddaughters. I lived with her when I was 20 for about a year. She helped me through some rough times. And I helped her. When her mom, my Great Grandma Boyle, was suffering the final stages of Alzheimers, I lived with my grandma. She, up to that point, had pretty much beeen the only one taking care of my great grandma. When I moved in, I flat out told her, this is it, you aren't doing this alone anymore. We then set up a schedule because she had been going to the home EVERY day to see my gg. From that point on, I went out on laundry days and one other day of the week. I did my gg's laundry (which I can't lie, was awful, because she had, for the most part, lost control of her bladder/bowels) so that my grandma wouldn't see how bad it really was. I lied to my gg when she called the house thinking that I was my aunt and called me Leslie and just went along with it because the disease had eaten her brain so badly that she really thought I was Leslie and was still living at home and it was just easier to go along with it than to try and tell her differently. I could go on for hours about what I saw and did during the final stages of her life, but the point is this:

This cousin has no clue. No idea how precious life really is. No idea. Not one iota. And it pisses me off to no end that she is using my grandma's illness to get her own sympathy and compassion. That is NOT what this is about. I am just so MAD at her!! I want to shake her and tell her that all of the fricken spoiling that she has gotten from her parents won't save her from shit like this and that no matter what she has in her life, she can't take it with her when she goes and that using OUR grandmother for HER OWN PERSONAL pitty party is SICK and WRONG and that God wouldn't approve!!!

I know it's wrong. I shouldn't be bitter. But I am. Let's top this whole little story off with a tid bit of how I (and my dad, this sick grandma's only son) found out about Grandma being sick...... through this same person's friggen MySpace blog!! Not from the proverbial horse's mouth..... from a "child's" (she's 23) BLOG!!!!

God help me!

Nothing special

I just realized that I haven't been on in FOREVER. I feel as though this summer has just clogged up every fiber of my being. On one hand, I am LOVING it, and on the other, I would really really REALLY like a nap!! And, I would like my house to stay clean a little longer than 5 minutes. When the oldest is in school, the youner two entertain each other and when I pick something up, generally speaking, it stays that way until the end of the school day and I end up cleaning one more time just after the kids go to bed and before I get to go too.

Anyway.... I am compelled to tell you all how terrible of a mother I am. Yesterday, we had a wonderful 4th of July. We started out the day with waffles topped with blueberries, strawberries, and whipped cream (red white and blue). Then we went out and lit off a few little fireworks. You know, those boring daytime ones like snakes and snappers. Just to suffice the kids for a little while. Then we took off and went to Walmart to grab a few things. It was rather fast. I thought it would be packed and awful, but it really wasn't. We then came home to take naps. Side note: we told all of my husband's family to be here no earlier than 6 for food and fireworks. So, we laid down about 3 for naps and there was a knock at the door at FOUR. Ok.... so I was a little irate. Obviously, these people don't have kids. UUUGGGHHHHH. Anyhew, it was an alright night. The in laws irritate the crap out of me, but other than that, watching my kids doing fireworks and setting off the big fireworks for them was a LOT of fun. Why am I a bad mom? Because I got to the end of the night and realized..... I DIDN'T TAKE ONE SINGLE PICTURE ALL DAY!!! Can you even believe that?!?!? We spent over $100 in fireworks, not to mention what the in laws brought, and I didn't think in all that time to take a single picture?!?!? I'm sure there's a place for me when I cross over. :(

I hope you all had a great 4th. It's like Christmas in July for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!

Eight things.... dunno how great they are....

Omaha Mama tagged me with this 8 things meme. Eight things about me. Facts or habits. I can't follow ALL of the rules because I only know three people other than myself on here and OM already tagged them. But here are my "things"

Each player lists 8 facts or habits about themselves.

The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before the list of 8.

At the end of the post, the person tags 8 people, then going to comment on their blog, letting them know they've been tagged.
Eight facts or habits (habits?) about myself:

I have always, as long as I can remember, wanted to be a mommy. And I am. And I LOVE it.

I would like to challenge OM to a pie baking contest and make AD taste test them! LOL!!

I hate my husband's job and how much it takes him away from us, even though I get a LOT more done while he is gone.

I am warming up BBQ meatballs for supper as soon as I am done with this thing.

I hate saying goodbye. The fact that one of my cousins is moving to Florida in two weeks is really upsetting to me. Along with this, knowing that my Grandmother is sick and her time could be minimal is killing me and breaking my heart.

I am a very deep thinker but I rarely share it with anyone other than myself. The saying "It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open the mouth and remove all doubt" tends to be my motto these days. I am still VERY outspoken and VERY outgoing, but only to a certain extent.

I hold things in and take EVERYTHING personally. It takes me forever to forget the things that hurt, but I never reveal that I was actually hurt to the person that injured me.

I, like OM, LOVE my minivan!! Only mine is purple. ;)