UUGGHHHHH!!!

I went shopping last night for an outfit for my friend's wedding in which I am the personal attendant. I HATE the outfit she picked out. It's just that simple. I look like a friggen oompa loompa. Whatever. It's her wedding. And after 2 or 3 flipping hours of trying on clothes that didn't fit or made me look pregnant, I just didn't care anymore.

As I have told the world over and over again, I am still getting my feet worked on. I can't do anything physically because even walking is a major challenge. It sucks so bad. So bad that my weight is showing it immensely and I am going to yet again have to buy a whole new wardrobe. I would like to say that I am ok with this, because it too shall pass..... but I'm just not. I am not saying I want to be a size 12 again. I don't care about being skinny. I just don't want to be THIS BIG. It won't be long and I will look like the chubby Star Jones..... actually.... more like Rosie O'Donnel. I am so depressed right now. I know that I shouldn't let things like this get me down. I have NEVER been a vain person. I have never dressed to impress. I am just me and that is one of the best things about me (in my opinion). I live my life to make ME happy, not to make the rest of the world happy. But this is just insane and I am NOT happy.

And I won't be able to do anything about it for at least a month. I could just cry. Again.

A Rock....

And a hard place. That's where I am. I feel that no matter what I do in this situation, I am screwed.

At brunch the other day, I told you all of the situation with that daycare mom and drugs. I am, as a caregiver, legally obligated to inform the authorities. As a citizen, I am morally obligated. If (when) I do call in, no matter how hard I try, it won't be anonymous (sp). I have done this before. And no matter what they tell me when I call it in, when said people go to court, it always comes out at that time how the courts were informed. I am thinking that I will (along with a whole jar of Lysol wipes) go to the neighborhood drive-up pay phone and call it in, so that they can't trace the call to my house. But.....

My heart is breaking. Although this child in my care makes me crazy, I know that the main reason I can't hardly stand him is because of his mother and the things that she says and does to me. I can't just kick them out, because she works at my daughter's school and she would treat my daughter and one of my other daycare girls terribly. And this gal is so good at being mean and evil that she would do it where no one would see or hear it, so it would be the kids' word against hers. Not to mention that the girls are already so scared of her that they pry wouldn't say anything for fear that she would be even worse to them.

I know what I have to do. But it isn't easy. And I have honestly lost a LOT of sleep over this. I feel like I am going out of my mind and this is only the beginning, because no matter if I do or don't call, things will either way get a LOT harder and a LOT uglier. UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Hugs

Have you ever noticed how a hug can just make a day perfect? I love hugs.

All of my blog buddies (two of which are cousins) met up in person today for brunch. It was wonderful. The instant I sat down, I was greeted with a hug from Jacque. It was like we were old friends. I love that kind of welcome.

After a wonderful meal and even better conversation, us cousins went to Omaha Mama's house so that I could get a couple of things and Midwest Beach Girl could see OM's house. When we got there, I was a little sad that the kids were napping. OM's children are, by far, two of my favorite children in the world. (And I have a LOT of little ones in my world these days!!) They just make me smile and, more than anything, they make me LAUGH. First to wake was Mason. He tried to play shy for about 5 minutes and then..... laughter. That's all I can say.... laughter. EVERYTHING that baby does makes me laugh. I think a lot of it is because he is exactly like my little man was at that age..... Thank Heaven for little boys!! About 20 minutes later, I see my "B" coming down the stairs. As soon as she saw me, her eyes lit up and she came running for some lovin!! Ooooohhhh, how I just LOVE her. She has the cutest little voice and is such a happy girl. And her hugs just mean everything to me. I never tire of her loves!! Thank Heaven for little Brenna!!

Now, it's back to reality. I must start some laundry and get this pit of dispair cleaned up so that I can start my week. Here's hoping this one is better than the last!!! Have a great week everyone!!!

PLEASE HELP!!!

Conditions with my husband's job of over 8 years have become unbearable. He is currently seeking other work as a truck driver. He is NOT an owner operator, and would rather not be an over the road driver as in out for two weeks and home two days like Werner offers. Do any of you know of good places to apply in the Omaha area??

THANK YOU for your replies!!!

Blog happy....

I just had a thought.....

I need to go buy chocolate. LOTS of chocolate. I have much to celebrate. My cousin and I use chocolate for EVERYTHING; sad things, happy things, watching movies, talking (which we do a LOT of). And it doesn't matter the chocolate. We will try anything, as long as it includes the cocoa bean. She will be home THIS WEEK!!!! We MUST have chocolate to celebrate!!

Grandma's chemo is going "well". She hasn't been AS tired, but that is mainly in part to her now being in tune with her body and knowing when she needs to get in for fluids before it gets too bad. PLEASE remember to add her to your prayers every night. We need to abuse this miracle to its fullest.

I am a TERRIBLE Christian. I ask for prayers, and I really believe in the power of prayer. The thing is, I don't have enough "knee time". Rephrase: I don't MAKE enough "Knee time". My prayers come at random intervals when I am washing dishes or reading a book and think of someone and remember that they need my prayers. And most times, when I go to pray, I can't remember who all I needed to pray for, so I ask God to look back in my memory for me. Is that good enough? I don't feel in my heart that it is, but I think God is still on my side and the side of those I care about.

I have become an aunt to a little niece! I now have one nephew that lives in Wichita Kansas and a niece who is in Huntsville Alabama. They are both too far away for my liking, but oh well..... they WILL know who their "Cool Aunt Nikki" is when they are older and mine will be the house they want to visit every summer for a few weeks and on their Christmas breaks. And if I have to pay to get them here, so be it. They are my babies!!!

This is all for now.... back to those frelling dishes.......

I love my husband.....

But he cannot wash dishes to save his life!!!


Must get back to "rewashing"....... :'(

Uh oh

So I was sitting here on what looks to be one of my last lazy mornings for a while. (School starts Monday) I decided to catch up with all of you on here. Here is what happened.....

I made it through all of OM's blogs without feeling that pang of guilt that I normally do when I don't get on for a while. Then I got in to MBG's. I got to the PROPS blog and cried. It's funny how her calls mean as much to me as they do to her. I love and miss her so terribly. Only 4 years, 11 months to go till she is home again. RIGHT?!?!? ;)

Now, just to cover me arse...... OM...... you, too mean more to me than you will ever know. You have been a rock in my life as long as I can remember. Most of my childhood memories include you and even my Dad marvels at our relationship. He has said more than once that it doesn't matter how long you and I go without seeing or talking to each other, when we are reunited, it's like we never missed a beat. You are one of the people that I don't consider just family, but a true friend.

Back to catching up on the blogs.....

My girls

I have two daughters. At this point, Addison is 7 and about to start second grade. Jenna is 3 1/2 and won't flippin poop in the toilet. GGRRRRR!!!!

Addison just bought her first what I call "real" cd. Up to this point in life she has listened to "my" music on her headset. Yesterday, she got the Hannah Montana 2 disc set. I have to admit, of all the music she could have chosen to buy, this was a GREAT choice. We listened to it as we ran errands this morning and the messages in these songs is PERFECT for girls. It's all about doing your best and trying your hardest and just being you. I LOVE IT. I am a little sad that my first born is getting so independant, but yet when she makes choices like this, I feel as though I am doing SOMETHING right!!

Then there is Jenna. As she sits in the bathroom screaming because her tummy and butt hurt because she needs to poop and refuses to go in the toilet, I am sitting her venting to you all. She has been potty trained over a year. But she refuses to go #2 in the stool!!! I don't get it! We have tried bribery, books, everything. I don't know what else to do, but I swear if I have to change one more of her poopy pull-ups, I will lose it!!!

I better get in there. We'll see what happens.

Nothing new

There really isn't anything new to report lately. We are all still elated on the news with Grandma and just revelling in the joys.

I have been dealing with plantar warts on both feet, as I think I have posted before. It's really getting old. It just sucks. I know that there are a lot worse problems out there, for instance Jacque and Grandma, and I feel awful for complaining. But I just have to vent. I have been so strong and quiet about it. I don't want to sound like a whiny child. But I have to tell you it hurts so bad that I can't hardly bear it any more. I have one on the ball of my right foot and one on the outter side by my heal on my left. My General Practitioner tried everything he could for a year to get rid of them and finally sent me to a dermatologist. The dermatologist started out with this acid that is just plain awful and then every night after that I had to use a 50% acid on them after using a... well... I call it a foot razor. It's one of those things that they use to scrape your feet when you get a pedicure. Which is why I will never EVER get a pedicure, but I digress....

So after about three months of doing the 50% acid at home and going in once a month to have the REALLY scraped and checked, I told the lady that this was getting old. So now she is using what she calls a slurry (sp?) and oh my GOD. I have to go in once a week now while we are doing this and it is just plain BAD. It is so flipping painful. I can honestly say, after having three babies with no drugs, that I would rather go through childbirth again. For one, I can't walk straight on either foot. I have had back problems (again, nowhere near as bad as Mel's.... I am being whiny) since high school. This crap of not being able to walk right has thrown my back, ankles, and knees off so bad that toward the end of the week when I CAN walk, it isn't straight because I hurt so bad everywhere else.

The good news is that this last Tuesday, she thought that this MIGHT be the last treatment I will need on the right foot, which is hardest to walk on. So, here is hoping. I guess I will let you all know what happens this Tuesday. UGH.

Other than all that there is nothing new. Just sitting and waiting to see if we are new aunt and uncle via Jeremy's brother, Josh. I can't wait. The sex is still unknown. I love not knowing! It is one of the true, genuine surprises in life!

I hope you are all having a great week and ready for the weekend! We have nothing planned for the weekend. It should be nice to actually have some family time, since Jeremy has been gone so much this week. OH!!! There are some major changes on the horizon with his job!! However, since this posting has gotten so long, I will save it for tomorrow!

Good night and sweet dreams to all!