I haven't a one smoke today. I don't want to have one. But....
I just got off the phone with my aunt. The kids and I are to be going to Hastings tomorrow to see Grandma. However, she isn't doing well. At all. Like really really bad. So it looks like I won't be going. I want to smoke. The craving is BAD. I made it through a pretty bad nic fit right after supper, but it was nothing like this. Oh God. Let her be ok. She doesn't even know I am doing this. She has no idea I am quitting. I was going to surprise her with it tomorrow and now I can't. I'm not being selfish here. I know it sounds like I am. But, she would be so happy to know that I am quitting. She would be thrilled to know how great of a day I am having. And she would be PISSED if she knew that this news is why I wanted to have one after such a strong day of saying NO. I won't smoke. I want to, but I won't. I refuse. GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM...... This is nothing compared to what she is going through... shut up and get over it.
I'm going for a walk. Please pray for my Grandma. PLEASE!!!!
2 comments:
Prayers for both your Grandma and YOU! You can do this - I hope to hear you made it through the night smoke free. Hang in there!
You know I will. I will be in the car most of tomorrow. Call my cell. I will call you.
You can do this. I know you can.
Grandma Barb will be proud. You call her tomorrow and tell her. Just tell her. It will raise her spirits. I know you're scared to call her if she's not feeling well...but just do it. Talk to her and tell her what you're doing. She will smile because of it.
Prayers and more prayers for Grandma. And for you.
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