Monday, February 15, 2010

It has to be said

I am sorry folks I know I have been gone a while. And this is not a happy way to start back up. I have been sitting here trying to think of someone to call and scream at but it just isn't fair to do so, so I am going to send it out into the great void and comfort of the internet.

I have been hurt for the last time by my dad's family. I am so done with them I don't even know where to begin. Take that back. I know EXACTLY where to start.

When I had Addison, I drove back and forth to Hastings several times a month, sometimes more than once a week, so that everyone who wanted to see her could. I would take her to Grandma Lois's house, to Grandma Barb's, Aunt Denise's, even took her out to Aunt Judy's house once or twice to see the animals (that one was more my asking than anyone else's, but still a memory I will never forget). I traveled to Hastings when she was less than three weeks old for Christmas. When she was 10 months old, I took her to Sioux Falls to go to band competitions in snow storms to watch my two cousins perform, and that wasn't the only trip I took up there with her in tow. Once even when Zachary was 8 or 9 months old (the weekend before I found out I was pregnant with Jenna!), we took a four day weekend trip up there for an air show that was in Omaha the following weekend. But we drove 4 hours to see it up there. Once one of my cousins had her babies, mine all disappeared. They stopped coming to my kids' birthday parties, but they make it back for every single one of her kids'. My kids don't even know who my dad's sisters are anymore. They know who most of my mom's siblings are, and we all know how rarely we see them. They may not remember everyone's names, but they have a story to associate with most of them. Not Dad's family though.

Then, once there were more great grandchildren in the family, mine and myself all but disappeared. These people drive, literally, past my house several times a year to go see each other and very rarely stop to say hi. One aunt has been to see me once in the last two or three years and the other only twice. They see each other at least every couple of months! When my grandma was sick, boy how they asked of me, and I obliged, because I wouldn't have had it any other way. However, to not have been forgotten when she passed away would have been nice.

Now, I find out over FB, that one of said aunts has been in NE for a week and didn't bother to call me. I had three days off this weekend and would have loved to make plans with her. I know she has been in Lincoln at least a couple days staying with her mother in law, whom she claims she can't stand. However, she would apparently rather spend time with her than to even call her niece and say hi?!?

I am just so tired of being hurt by them. I won't do it anymore. And call it childish, but if it doesn't bother my dad (and I will talk to him about it), I will not be attending many family get togethers with them anymore, if any. If they can't even stop by and say hi over a cup of coffee, why should I be expected to pack up and haul three kids to their gatherings that I am not really wanted at???

Rant over. Feel free to comment or call. I'll be here all night.

3 comments:

Melanie D. said...

:-(

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling rather depressed myself now.

After I had Alaina and now Kayla, I quit calling anyone. Even family. Mom finally called and let me know that wasn't acceptable for her, and Sis calls all the time. But I have friends that I haven't seen or spoken to in years. I feel so guilty because I feel like I don't have the time for any relationships for myself.
Hang in there cuz. Family shouldn't have to be work or a burden. Just know that we love you and even when we aren't physically present, we are here for you.

Mimi in the Midwest said...

I guess I commented a week ago and didn't publish it.

Don't wait around for anyone to help you be happy. Just love your kids, your husband and yourself and let others "suck an egg".