She would know

I know I didn't know her as well as most. That didn't matter. To say hello, you knew who she was and that she cared more than most people you will know your entire life. Miss Jacque.

I find myself really missing her words of wisdom lately. All of the support I get is astounding, don't misunderstand me. But she was there. In the situation. Dealing with it herself. I keep going back to read her postings so that I can hear what she would be saying to me right now, could she answer my emails. Stay strong Nikki. It's ok to cry. It's ok to laugh. It's ok to be angry. It's ok to ask why. Never look away from God. Why is it that I know, deep in my heart, that she IS here and is likely checking in on my grandma and there are times I swear I can hear her say things to me or even feel her hand on my shoulder as I shudder with sobs, and yet..... I miss her?!?!

I am trying, Dear Jacque. I really am. And I am doing it. Most days. I know you were here on Saturday. I felt you. I didn't realize it at that moment, and I am sorry. But I did hear you. I did feel you. I wish you were here.

I wish...................