Good, Good, and Gooder

Yes, I know.... "gooder" isn't a word. I may just be a stay at home mom, but I know. HOWEVER....

Today was FULL of accomplishments and it isn't even close to being over.

I honestly didn't get any sleep last night. For once, it wasn't because I was full of worry and doubts (Grandma). It was all because of anticipation. The GOOD kind. The kind where I finally feel like ME again and not just a mommy and wife. I am focusing on ME. And it feels so good to be back. My identity is NOT lost after all.

I woke up this morning after my couple of hours of sleep and called the insurance company to make sure that they covered the smoking cessation drug I wanted to take (Chantix) and if they didn't, which ones they did cover. I called three or four numbers to finally get someone to answer. I mean to tell you that the first few numbers I called there wasn't even an automated answering system. Nothing. Not a good feeling to get when you are calling your insurance company. So, I finally get someone to answer the phone. A very nice man named David answered and I started piling on the questions. I asked him if they covered the drug I wanted and if not, if there were any that they did cover. (I had previously been told that "no insurance companies cover that type of med". Well, my informer couldn't have been more wrong. TWENTY DOLLARS PER FILL!!!! TWENTY DOLLARS!!! That's almost 1/4 what we spend a week in cigarettes!!! YAAAYYY!!!!

So, when I went in to the doctor, I told him exactly what I wanted. He said,"You do know that this stuff is expensive. Not as expensive as smoking, but still isn't cheap". I told him oooooh no, sweetheart (My dr and I are more friends than doctor/patient), it's only $20. He shot me a look that I haven't seen in the 7 years that he has been our family physician. So, I said, I am ready. As long as I can take it with Envision and handed him a print out of the ingredients in said supplement. (At this point, I am so proud of all my research, that I shoot him an "I ain't foolin with this s***" glance. He read through it all and said that it would be perfectly fine to take them together and asked if there was anything else that I knew. I said, matter of factly, "Yes..... I have dropped 4 pounds since Sunday." He smiled from ear to ear and gave me a "pound" (fist hitting fist). He asked what my motivation was. I said, "To be a MILF by October when I turn 30." He said that he vows to help me get there.

The rest of my day is well..... History. Once I left there, I felt (and still feel) like I can conquer the world. And I will. One step at a time.

My next step: to send Grandma a card stating that taking the Chantix is my gift to her. I will never be a smoker again. Amen.

Note to Self: When it gets rough, remember today. It won't hurt forever. Keep saying....I'm quitting, I'm quitting, I'm quitting.....I AM QUITTING!!!!