Can I PLEASE.......

.......Come live with you Stacey?!?! You gotta love weather in the Midwest. 60 degrees one day. And the next? Yup.... 11 degrees, -11 wind chill, 40 mph winds, and snow. Actually, it hasn't even started snowing here, it's just sleet. Let me guess.... "It's only 56 here today". Don't even!!!! ;)

Clean a spot on the couch.... I am on my way.

It was good

I went to Hastings yesterday and cleaned for Grandma, including scrubbing the walls in the bathroom. She was pretty worn out, since she had another round of chemo last week. By next week, she'll be closer to normal. Denise, Stephanie, and the kids all came over for supper, which was nice. But, by the time we were done eating, Grandma was done dealing. So, I took off about 6:30 in hopes to "crash" a bingo game at the Eagles with some former coworkers. When I arrived, they weren't there!!! When I called to find out what the deal was, I found out that they decided to not go because it was so cold. I ended up going over to my old boss's house and chatting with her for about an hour. It was so nice to catch up and have a little get away from reality for a little while.

Needless to say, I got home about 10:30, and didn't get much sleep last night so I am pooped today. I think I will head to bed now. I hope all is well with every one.

Brothers

We all have brothers in my little blogging world. I need to vent about the women mine choses. Problem is, this one is my fault.... to an extent.

Now I must start this with the fact that my mother and I have kind of turned into our.... well crap... what do I call them? My mother's in laws? My dad's mother and sisters? My grandma and aunts? Take your pick. All of my adult life my mom and I have talked (somewhat cat-ily) about my dad's immediate family and the way that they...... gossip. I'd like to say I am using that term lightly, but really I'm not. When one talks to my paternal grandmother or aunts, they need to be extremely careful about the choice of words and topics discussed because it WILL be taken to the rest of the world. I do love them, have no doubt, but holy cow. I know that I can talk to any one of the people in my mom's family and know that it will stay there and not be used as topic of discussion at their next lunch date. And if it IS the topic, names are omitted. Anyheeewwww...

So I was going to the dermatologist for plantar's warts on my feet. I am FINALLY done, by the way..... only been since MAY!!! UGH!! Anyway, I met this girl while I was going to these appointments. She is the personal assistant of the gal that is doing my feet. Super cute, fun, all around awesome gal. So one day at an appointment I talk to the gal doing my feet about my brother coming down this weekend and looking forward to it and yada yada yada and she starts asking me about him; where he works, how old he is, things of this nature. Well the gal that does my feet is married and 50 years old, so I am fairly certain she isn't asking for herself and I inquire about her wanting to know. She says that she is thinking that her p.a. needs to meet him. After all, she says, I (meaning me, Nikki) am so much fun and easy going and blah blah blah that my brother HAS to be just as wonderful, right?!?! Uhhhh.... ok?? So she calls said p.a. and tells her that she is giving her number to me to give to my brother.

HUH?!?! WHAT?!?!

Yeah.

So, she gives me the number and I give it to my brother. Because, I think, she told her he was going to get it, so she will be expecting a call.

So he calls her.

All goes well for a month. VERY WELL. She has my kids out to meet her horses. Fun. She goes to one of our family Christmases (with the catty family... ugh). Not too bad. She comes to my house all weekend every weekend to hang out with my brother. Ok, no problem.

Then, one weekend.... NEW YEARS WEEKEND.... she calls him to come over. It's New Year's Eve. You don't call someone over for "a talk" on New Year's Eve when you are supposed to be getting together with a bunch of people at their sister's house unless it's a bad thing.... right? Supposedly, wrong. She "didn't feel like hanging out and was so exhausted that she just wanted to veg out and do nothing.... alone." Ok, whatever. So we celebrated the new year without her. Don't care. He was here with us, that's all that mattered to us. And he wasn't even in a bad mood after their talk. So, no problem.

The next two weeks were hell. "I need my space". "I don't know what I want to do at this point in my life." "I have unresolved feelings and issues." DID I MENTION SHE IS THIRTY SIX?!?! YES!!!! THIRTY SIX!!!! Oh yeah, and... she calls ME to talk about these issues, after screaming at my brother about them and hanging up on him, on an almost nightly basis. How I, of all people, have kept my mouth shut is an absolute miracle. (Thus why I am venting here)

NOW.... on Thursday, he learned that he was to move today to Springfield, Illinois. He moved. However.... on Thursday, not 15 minutes after he sent out an email (to her included) she starts calling him and telling him "This is the reason I have been acting like this the last two weeks". Ok, so.....????? NOW, when he is moving, she decides that she wants to work on things with him and move forward in their relationship. But, she doesn't want to move with him (not that I blame her, they have only known each other a couple of months). But, she wants to spend as much time as possible with him on the weekends that he is home. OK. So. He is going to be home every other weekend (which means my house) and he is rarely going to be here because he will be out with her (because she can't seem to come here to our house anymore), which is going to piss my kids off royally, thus making more questions and consoling for me to take care of.

Oh.... did I mention that he got here Friday night and went out with her all afternoon Saturday and then she was supposed to come here that night but instead she spent 3 hours on the phone with him (while he was outside talking to her on his phone because he has crappy reception in my house and she wouldn't stop talking long enough for him to tell her he'd call her back on the house phone.... and it was subzero temps....) trying to decide if she was going to come out or not?? And when she called it was 8:30!! They were on the phone trying to decide until after 11:30. Convenient how we couldn't make any other plans that late, isn't it?? Then, on Sunday, they were to go to lunch. But when she found out that we took the kids clothes shopping, she decided they should come to my house and talk. TALK?!?! Uh huh. Supposedly. So, he drove clear across town to pick her up to go to lunch(she lives at 84th and A) and they came here. AND.... because she told him to.... he called me to tell me that they were coming here to talk and that we needed to take extra time shopping. SERIOUSLY?!?! I am the one that pays rent here. Not to mention all of the other bills. If they want to go somewhere to talk, maybe it would be a better idea if she would grow the hell up and move out of mommy and daddy's house and get her own damn place so they can do just that. Never mind the fact that his time with his FAMILY was cut short because she wanted to "go to lunch"!!!!

Ok. So, this is kinda my fault. I gave him the number. BUT.... he knew I didn't know her that well. So, it isn't ALL my fault.... right?!?!

And are we wrong in thinking there is something wrong with this girl? I think I have written it all here. I am pry leaving something out, I am sure. I guess if there are comments left that inquire to things, I will answer them.....

I am just so frustrated!!! Where are all the fun loving girls that AREN'T part of the Shafer family?!?!? There HAS to be someone out there that is perfect for him that won't treat him like crap...... doesn't there?!?!?

Sorry

Seems like time has gotten the best of me. I haven't been on in a while to check in. I am still alive and kickin though!

My brother found out on Thursday that he is to move today to Springfield Illinois. He will be there approximately one year and then be back in Omaha. Although this is an awesome opportunity for him, it is bittersweet because we will miss seeing him every weekend. On the up side, it's only 6 hours away, so he will still be home quite a bit.

Other than that there really isn't a whole lot that is new around here. Been trying to get Girl Scout cookies sold and taking care of a ton of kids everyday. Although very busy, life is very full and happy right now. And I am just sitting back and enjoying the ride while I can!

I hope that you are all well. I really am trying to remember to check in at the end of the days but I just don't seem to get it done!!

Yet another update

In an email from Aunt Denise today in RE to Grandma:



Hi,
One More Time!. . . .mom has beat the odds again! She does NOT have to have surgery, the tear in her colon has repaired itself! When she was in the hospital, a nurse was talking to us about the surgery and she mentioned sometimes, a fistula can repair itself. I turned to Mom, pointed to her and said "Work on that!" She responded "Oh I intend to." By the grace of God and your prayers, she did just that. Can you believe it?! Dr Bruno is baffled. She keeps telling Mom "You amaze me". She has chemo tomorrow 1 day late. They are leaving the evastin out of the cocktail because this won't let a wound heal, and of course, we want the colon to keep healing. Each day she gets stronger after the pneumonia, and now the chemo will knock her down a little this week.
But as you can see, she'll get back up. (To my neice Nikki. . .thank you so much. She really is enjoying her time with you. And I so appreciate the help. Love you.)
Love,
Dee Dee

These last two weeks have been so hard on my heart. Seeing someone you love so weak when it wasn't long ago they were so strong and full of life and on the go is just so hard. She IS getting stronger, but this chemo is going to knock that back a couple of steps. Please please please keep praying. It really is helping to know that God is in control and hears all of the love and support.

Seriously....

What makes people think that it's ok to make plans with an 8, 5, and 3 year old set of kids and then turn around and cancel? And when they cancel they don't tell the KIDS.... ohhhh no. They call the MOM and tell her and let her tell the kids the wonderful news and dry tears and answer questions and think of something else fun to do to replace said event. What is the said event??? ELMO LIVE. Why are they canceling? Oh just name it. Every excuse under the sun other than the TRUTH, which is.... I DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH BEFORE I ASKED AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER GO GET DRUNK ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND SPEND ALL DAY SATURDAY RECOVERING SO I CAN DO THE SAME THAT NIGHT!!!! I am seriously done with people. DONE.

Stupid weather

Every time I say the word "stupid" I hear my mother in the back of my head saying, "Don't say 'stupid'". I think I will resolve to use that word no longer.

That being said, I didn't make it to Hastings today. Grandma called this morning and said that she didn't want me to even think about coming while it was snowing. Well, when she called it hadn't even gotten cloudy here yet. However, an hour later, I was glad I listened to her. And then, two hours later, when the sun came out and you couldn't even tell it had snowed, I was upset again that I hadn't gone. Oh well. That's life in good ole Nebraska.

There isn't a whole lot to report here. I have two new daycare kids. They are awesome kids that I have known for a couple of years now, so there shouldn't be too many surprises (knock on wood). So, not only do I now have good kids in my daycare, I have a substantial income again. Life is looking up in that aspect.

Chores have already fallen behind in my ventures with Grandma. I don't care though. Dust will wait. Grandma can't.

Hopefully I can get some much needed sleep tonight. Hope all is well with you.

Good day

Just got home from my first day with Grandma. I must admit, I was very shocked (and pleased) with her condition. Considering she couldn't walk 7 days ago and today she was in high spirits and walking well on her own, she was doing wonderful today. She was a little slow on her feet, but otherwise, she was really good. I figured she would sleep at least a little this afternoon while I did her chores, but she was very awake and very alert the entire time I was there. About 4:30, she started craving a baked potato (another VERY good sign), so we headed out to Wendy's with Aunt DD. I honestly can't believe how much Grandma ate. She ate more tonight than she ate when she was healthy. It was amazing..... and wonderful.

When we got home, we had a great heart to heart. We both got some things off our chests about all of this, which was VERY therapeutic. This is all so bittersweet, but completely and totally worth it. Ever read Tuesdays with Morrie? The whole way home, that's all I could compare it to. If you haven't read it, please do.

I am exhausted. Going to bed. Going to bed HAPPY. Good night.

Latest Update

In an email from Aunt DD tonight:

Hi,
I got to bring Mom home around 11:00 this morning and she's doing great. That's the good news.
The bad news is she has to have surgery sometime after the 23rd of this month. Mom's original
diagnosis was pneumonia and a urinary tract infection. Well there was no UTI but an abdominal
CT scan shows a fistual of the colon. What this means is, where that infection of the colon wall
was (remember this fall we were afraid it was a mass but it ended up being an infection?) was weakened and developed this "tear". She admitted it is affecting the quality of her life, so it was decided something had to be done. She has to be off chemo 4 weeks before and 4 weeks after the surgery so the incision will heal. This means she will miss 2 rounds of chemo, which is a worry also. I had a very nice visit with her oncologist Dr Bruno. I feel so much better after this visit.
Dr Bruno knows Mom VERY well. She reassures me Mom can still live by herself. She did get the
Lifeline this afternoon and wears a bracelet 24/7. Anything goes wrong, she pushes the button and the center is contacted and help is on the way. I stopped over after work this evening and helped her get her medications organized and left her eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup! SHe's in great spirits and told me in a way only my mother could, NOT TO STOP BY EVERY NIGHT, she is
just fine! Gees!
So here's the latest. Bless her heart. I'll keep you posted.

I just got to thinking while I was posting this, I don't really know why I keep updating on here. I don't know if there are many people out there that really care or even want to read about it. But then I realize, I don't do this for others, I do it as my venting post. With three children at home that listen most when you think they are listening the least, it's almost impossible to talk about it verbally. This is where I can go to just get it out. And I do apologize if it makes anyone out there in cyberland uncomfortable. But please understand that I do this for me. And for the few out there that do care what is going on. As MBG said, it keeps me from having to tell the story 10 times over every day. Thanks for putting up with it. And for allowing me to just get it out there. Will try and post something when I get home tomorrow. Love to all. And thanks again for the prayers.

Tuesdays, Thursdays and less and less time

On New Year's Day Grandma was taken in to the ER with what they thought was pneumonia and UTI. There are a lot more details about the events that lead up to her going to the ER, but I will save her dignity and leave it there. But she had had a round of chemo the day after Christmas and her immune system and white cell count was so low that they weren't even real sure she was going to make it. Luckily, she is doing a lot better and will hopefully be out of the hospital in the next couple of days.

It turned out that what they thought was a UTI wasn't so. They did an abdominal series (whatever that means) and found that there is something on the colon again where the infection was the last time she was so sick. There is a word for it, but please forgive that I can't remember what it is called other than it starts with a "p". Basically what it is is a perforation or scar or something of the like that is causing problems. She is going to need major surgery for this, the way we understand it as of today. Aunt DD is going to be making some calls tomorrow to find out exactly what all is going to happen. However the way we understand it thus far, it cannot be done through a scope. They will essentially have to cut her open and pull out her colon and do the work that way. I also don't know at this point if they will cut a section out of the colon or if they will just cauterize it. I will let you know when I know more.

At any rate, the surgery can't be done until one of the drugs that's in her chemo cocktail is out of her system. The way I understand it, this medication prevents clotting.... not good when you are talking surgery! They drug has to be out of her system for at least 3 weeks. Again, one of the questions DD is asking is if that is 3 weeks from getting the dose or 3 weeks after it has flushed itself out of the body. (i hope this is all making sense.) The earliest they will do the surgery, as far as we know, is the 23rd of january.

Aunt DD is trying to get it set up so that from the time Grandma gets home from the hospital until she goes back in for this surgery someone is with her all day every day. She can't be alone. She is too weak and can't be trusted to sit and be good. So we are going to have to start babysitting her. She refuses to go to a home. That's fine. But for now, we are going to try and have someone in at all times. That's where the Tuesdays and Thursdays come in. Every week, from now till her surgery, I will be leaving the daycare in Jeremy's hands and going to Hastings to take care of my ailing Grandma. I am so thankful that I finally have daycare families that are in agreement with me that family comes first and that she should be my priority.

So, adding more to my already full plate. I can handle it, but it's gonna be tough goin for a while. I don't know how often I will be here to update you all, but will do my best. Please keep my dad's family in your prayers. It's much needed.

Happy New Year!

I have nothing insightful. I honestly try to not make resolutions because I honestly feel that it sets me up for failure. I just think of things throughout the year that will make me a better person and try to change as I go. Baby steps, if you will.

It's amazing to me how a game of cards and playing a game system (W¡¡) can bring people together. We had some people over last night for a New Year's "party" and had so much fun, I wish it wouldn't have had to come to an end. Watching my brother and husband serenading each other at the card table and watching everyone around them almost wet themselves was definitely a highlight. (OM.... remember the road trip to the Shafer reunion with all the guys? It was very much the same type of event. LOVE IT!!) I didn't have my camera close, but my phone was and I took some pictures with that. I just have to get technologically advanced enough to get them on my computer.

If any of you out there in blogworld are trying to decide whether or not to purchase a W¡¡, this household HIGHLY recommends it. I am not a big advocate of gaming. It makes me angry. I don't like the idea of kids sitting on their rears all day, their thumbs getting the only exercise. This system takes all of that anger and puts it to a mother's dream. I really mean that. The kids love it and so do I, because we are all getting off our bums and not only spending some fun family time, but also exercising. I really mean your heart rate gets up and all. We have several adult friends that come over and say, "Ready for some cardio?"!! It's honestly the best money Santa has ever spent on our family.

A little quirk in the night: At midnight, all of our phones started ringing. Cell phones. While all of our phones read the calls as someone we knew (i.e. my phone said "Mom's cell" when it rang.... after midnight... not likely!!!), when we would answer it was always some random person. It seems as though this is becoming a trend with All+el. I don't know what the deal is. I don't know how long it went on here, because we all got mad and shut our phones off. However, a friend of mine in Hastings just informed me she tried until 330 this morning to get ahold of her husband who is working out of town and still never got through. Odd. Very, very odd.

So, this New Year's Day I am cleaning and hunting for the missing remote control. Wish me luck!! LOL!! I hope that all of you had a very safe and happy new year. Can't wait for the wonderful blogs to come in this new year of 2008!!!

I am so "looking forward" to the next two months of writing "07" on my checks. OK. Two months? I can't lie. It's usually July before I get it right. Can you say "scatter brain"?!?!?