CANCER SUCKS AND IS KICKING MY A$$

I am sorry to be so flipping blunt but this is just so hard and once again I am getting crappy news while HOME ALONE. Thank God my kids are in bed.

UGGGHHHHHHHH

Aunt J asked what my parents saw when they went Saturday. Here it is.

Grandma never once called either of them by name. She said maybe 20 words in almost 2 hours. And, she acted as though she were about to vomit the entire time. You know the signs: breathing deeply, swallowing frequently, that kind of thing.

Today, Aunt Leslie got there and shortly after arriving, Grandma started vomiting. A lot. Not just once or twice. Several times.

Sooooo.... what does this mean?

According to Hospice, brain tumors have signs of their stages. First, frequent fainting (That started two weeks ago). Second, frequent vomiting (started today apparently). Third, severe headaches treated with super strong drugs that basically make one comatose (not quite there yet, but only been two weeks since the first symptoms started).

I am sure you all remember when she was blacking out before and falling. That was NOT the same as this. When that all happened, they did scans and it wasn't back in the brain yet. YET being the word. Those spells were from being so weak when they did the intestinal surgery. This is different. It's obviously back in the brain. However, they will most likely not do scans because at this point there is nothing left to do so why bother. Although I in a way want to argue that. I know it won't help her, but there comes a point where we are all looking at each other wondering what these things mean. Do we just accept them? Do we ask for scans? Please don't answer. Those are rhetorical. I am just conveying what we are discussing.

Anyhew, I will be going to see my grandmother Thursday. Yes, I will be calling Grandma Shafer. Whether or not we get together depends on me and my mood, the only thing that has ever kept me from going to her house. There is no need for two of us to be down. And it isn't that I ever don't WANT to see her, it's that most of the time I just need my babies and husband NOW.

Speaking of babies, I need to get the last one down for the night. Will keep you posted.