Abandoned.

No one but me here in the blogosphere. I am sad. Please don't leave me. :)

I am sad today. One of my very dear friends, Jason, is leaving on Monday for basic training for the Army National Guard. I have very mixed feelings, all of which are very selfish.

I am so proud of him. He is 28 and just now deciding that this IS what he should have done out of high school and it's never too late to follow your heart, so this is where he is going. We need men like him (and women!!) on our side. He is genuine and real and won't hesitate to tell you if you ask that the reason he is doing this is "for you". What he means by that is that he is going so that he can defend you, me, and our children. What a wonderful person. What a wonderful sacrifice. I am proud to call him my friend.

But.


I am so sad. My heart is breaking thinking about him coming here tonight for his going away party that I have been putting together for the last two months. There are mounds of food. There is a cooler full of.... ice. ;) The cards and notebooks and pens are out and ready to go. The music is on the computer. It WILL be fun. We WILL laugh. But.... we will also cry. It's inevitable. I hate goodbyes. I mean I LOATHE them. I don't even say goodbye, unless on the phone, and even then I will usually say talk to you later or something to that effect and hang up. And I won't say goodbye. The word won't come. But even see you in 5 months makes my heart hurt. He is here ALL the time. He calls me almost every day just to check on me and see if I am having a good day. He is my friend. And I love him more than he will EVER know.

To Jason.....

I know you will never read this. I know I will never find the words to tell you how proud I am to call you my friend and defender. But know that you are everything to those of us that you are leaving for a short while. We WILL be here when you get home. We will be ready with open arms to welcome you back. Please stay strong and remember.... In God We Trust. I love you.