I have gone from sad to mad. I don't mean just "Oh I'm kind of angry". No. I am PISSED. WHY is this crap happening?!?! UGH!!! I don't question God. I just want to know WHY!! All of it! Why?!?! Why is my dad's family going through the same crap only 30 years later and through longer duration? Why is a beautiful innocent child suffering through treatments like this? Why why why why WHY?!?!? I am NOT having a pity party here. This is NOT about me. It is about the cliche of bad things happening to good... no wonderful, terrific, beautiful.... people. WHY?!?!? The people that I love the most in my life are hurting so deeply right now and there is nothing any of us can do to fix it. I am a fixer. I can't stand not being able to get in there and help. Praying, yes. Obviously. But, as I said, I am impatient. I want to be able to just go in there and FIX IT.
And I can't.
3 comments:
Get through the pissed and then you can find acceptance. You know how that goes. Prayers for Grandma Barb, sounds like she continues to fight the beast. You said it best. She may have lost this round, but she's not done fighting!
SOOOOOooooo sorry Nikki. Cancer doesn't play fair. Hopefully her next treatment will be 'the one'.
This is me...commenting on your blog. :)
Repeat after me: God is not a vengeful God. Though he has a plan, it is not payback for anything else.
I know there will be a rainbow after this storm! (Perhaps two!)
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